#just... if you tell me you don't have the energy for it now... then don't do it now

[iris-tarot]

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. how will your person express their jealousy towards you ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

pick-a-card reading - 18+

this reading can be about your crush, future partner/spouse, or anyone you're thinking about ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

⋆.˚ take a deep breath and close your eyes. look at the above options and pick the image you feel the most drawn towards. scroll down to read your message. if you feel called to more than one image, then maybe there's a message that's meant for you ⋆.˚

⟢˚₊‧♡ about me

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. pile I ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

⭑.ᐟ I'M GIGGLING RIGHT NOW JASDJASANDAKJN your person is not even angry at you, they are angry at themselves for feeling so strongly towards you. like one minute they are very calm and demure and then the next minute they are a complete mess. it gives me very chaotic energy. like i'm not even kidding when i tell you that they don't know what to do with their feelings - instead, they're going to show you exactly how pathetic you make them feel hehehe 🤭👀. whatever they're going to do to you is going to be so unexpected, even you’ll be caught off guard. your person is going to be so obsessed and possessive over you, the energy here is INSANE. like they’re going to control you and you will not even have a say in it. your person is someone who is NAWT going to take it easy on you. and let me tell you something babe, your person is very insecure and they're afraid you’ll find someone better than them. i feel like even you would be surprised by their outburst because you’ve never seen this side of them before, and it all seems so…new?

it's going to start off with them being insecure at first, but then soon they will dominate you and prove to you as to why they're the best you're ever going to have. their movements are going to be unexpected, quick and witty. one moment they are confronting you with anger, the next minute they are kissing you with their hands in between your thighs sjndsfbjkdbfkjsb. for some reason, i’m seeing here that your person has been waiting for this moment to take place so that they can take out all their aggression and frustration on you. like you get them so worked up, they don't even know what to do with their feelings for you. they're going to play so hard to get babe, and they won't let you reach your climax that easily. they want to see you beg, they want to see you apologizing, they want to see you submitting yourself to them. they're going to feel like a whole new person when they're jealous. you've never seen this side of them before because they hardly show it. but when they do, it's going to be very….um i can't find the word - unexpected? chaotic? it's just going to be very concerning. because they won't let you go until you've orgasmed multiple times on their fingers. 

but here's the thing…after making you cum multiple times and making you feel so…..good and tired, your person is going to SPOIL you. i'm talking about buying you gifts, taking you out for shopping and so on. it almost seems like they are rewarding you for your hard work - which is them making you climax multiple times. they're going to be like, “awn baby, you're tired after i made you feel good? here's your reward for being a good girl/boy.” AAHAJSWJNSNWQ i’m literally kicking my feet in the air while writing this down JNSWNCUI3BR ⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. pile II ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

⭑.ᐟ ummmm….okay…..pile 2 your person is very kinky. when i pulled out your cards, the first message that came right out was ���discipline”......so umm…yea…..do i even need to go any further? i see your person being very calm and composed. though they're jealous, they aren't going to let that side of themselves show. they're calmly going to order you around and i see you obeying them. there's something about their voice…it seems powerful, it seems commanding, and it seems so right. it's addicting. 

your person knows that you will obey them with just a snap of their finger and they're going to take this to their advantage. to be honest, they don't even have to physically stimulate you and make you feel good. it's their words that will do the job. i see them whispering the things they are going to do to you, and you're literally going to squirm under them. you might even get frustrated and beg them to touch you, but nuh uh…they're not done just yet. they want to see how much of a pathetic mess you are for them. they want to see how much you yearn them. they’re going to keep you on edge and will like it when you plead them to touch you. i hear them saying, “you really thought i would let you get off the hook so easily?” 

no matter how much you beg them, they're not going to touch you nor are they going to let you touch yourself. they want to see you crying and pleading. seeing you being so miserable for them literally satisfies their soul. they want to prove to you that no one understands you the way they do. they want to prove to you that they are the one for you. and here's the thing, the reason they are acting so tough is because they care and love you. they might keep you at the edge of your seat at the start, but they will literally nurture and fulfill your desires. they will emotionally make you feel good, rather than physically. this is a soul connection. you don't need to be physical with one another to show your love towards each other. emotional fulfilment is what y’all are seeking for and oh boy, they will give you just that. 

they're going to worship each and every inch of your body and i see them asking you if anyone has ever made you feel good like they do. they want you to tell them that they are the best and they know exactly how to treat you right. they're going to love it when you validate them and as a reward, they’ll make cum. 

they will also love giving you head and it's going to be even more amazing when they are jealous. they're going to take out all their frustration by eating you out and making you climax on their tongue. and to be honest babe, they're going to be so proud of themselves for making you cum. your person knows EXACTLY how to make you melt 👀✨🤭⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⋆ 𐙚 ̊. pile III ⋆ 𐙚 ̊.

⭑.ᐟ YOU'RE THE SPICIEST PILE OMFG AHHAAHJAJAJA. this pile is giving me strong “make-up s*x” vibes. your person is someone who will not take things lightly and once you've made them feel jealous, they're going to switch to a side of themselves you never even knew existed. there's going to be heated arguments and i see both your ego’s clashing. i feel like there is a lack of trust here. and to be honest babe, i do not see you doing well after you guys argue. you might be very emotionally exhausted after y’all argue, but here's where the spicy part starts. your person will realise that they have overreacted and will reach out to console you, and they're going to do this in the most surprising way possible. they're going to start by kissing your tears and caressing your cheek, but then something takes over them…..it's like a new button has been switched on. they're going to go WILD, babe. like i wish i was kidding, BUT I SO AM NOT. there will be a little resistance from your side at the start, but i see you submitting yourself to them very soon. 

i’m seeing here that your person will throw sarcastic comments in between f*cking you - saying things like, “you think __ can f*ck you like i do?” or when you're moaning from pleasure, they might hit you with the, “want to be a rebellious girl/boy and act smart, huh? do you really think __ could make you scream the way i do?” JFNIJSFUIRIUGNIRNOV

your person seems like someone who is very talkative in bed and i'm seeing here that they'll love the expressions you make everytime they make you feel good. if you try to cover your face while doing it with them, they'll literally pull your hands apart and smirk at your miserable state. oh, they're going to make you feel so good, you can't help but beg for more. you will force yourself not to surrender to them and you will play it hard to get, but your person knows exactly where and how to tease you. you might even force yourself not to orgasm so that you don't boost their ego, but you’ll eventually give in. 

and you know what the funny thing is? after being so sarcastic with you, your person will literally cuddle you and will pretend like they didn't just make you cum like multiple times. your person might even pretend to not care about what just happened and they'll try to casually lie down with you. i feel them saying, “you got the punishment you deserve.” LIKE UM OKAY CALM DOWN SIR/MA’AM. 

your person is someone who is very talkative and communicative, and they'll love it when you ask them to please you. like they want to see how weak you get under their touch. 

but here's the thing, when you're making love to your person - especially when they're jealous, you'll be a little surprised by how different they seem. i don't know why, but i feel like they might be a little distant if they make love to you when they're jealous. it almost feels like they're shielding themselves from disappointment. did that even make sense? 

your person is someone who will literally f*ck the shit out of you and then they’ll take care of you in such a way where you will look at them and be like, “there is no way YOU just broke my back right now”. like they're going to go back to being themselves after making love to you, and you will be confused if they are the same person who just made your legs shake uncontrollably lmao 😭🤭✨⭑.ᐟ

𓂃 𓈒𓏸‪‪ˎˊ˗

⭑.ᐟ hello, thank you so much for making it till the end and i hope you could resonate with my reading. i would really appreciate it if you could like and reblog my post as it would mean a lot to me!! i'd love to hear which pile you picked and what resonated with you. take care and i hope you have a lovely day/night -`♡´-

ˎˊ˗ full credit for the images and dividers goes to their original creators and rightful owners.

[the-tarot-witch22]

Messages from the universe - Pick a pile

Pile 1 / Pile 2

My Paid Readings | My insta | My Monthly Goal Post | Paid Reading Feedbacks! | Pac Masterlist!

Liked my blog or readings? Tip me!

Hello everyone ! It's been a while isn't it! So, this is my another pick a pile or pac reading so please be kind and leave comment or reblog, and let me know if it resonated with you!

Note : This is a general reading or collective reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. And it's totally okay if our energies aren't aligned!

How to pick : Take a deep breath and choose a pile which you feel most connected to! You can choose more than one pile, it just means both pile have messages for you!

I worked really hard on this pac please show some love by leaving comments, likes and reblogs!

Pile 1

(The cards I got for you - knight of pentacles, the star, the hermit, justice)

Okay so first of all so major arcanas for you guys, trust me something life changing will be happening for you, it could be a major transition period, for some of you I am feeling you guys lost someone close to you? And you haven't been yourself for a while now, you feel lost? almost as if things aren't going your way atleast for now, I also feel the energy almost as if you are emotionally exhuasted. Anyhow let's dive deeper into your reading, okay loves, first of all universe wants you to be patient, this group is almost impulsive, or rather act on instinct or just without thinking, universe is saying "patience my child", i am also seeing you all or many of you try to manifest and when it doesn't work in try, you are like "why me?", "why must i suffer"? universe right now is dragging your ass out, that all you have to is listen trust me and you dont do that and you blame me back!? Damn it I am also feeling that universe wants you to focus yourself on your career or invest in your hobbies, and also look with in instead of distracting yourself with outer things, even if its uncomfortable more like "feel the feelings", I am also feeling that something about learning lessons, you dont have to go through one thing again and again, you can learn, but some of you guys here are stubborn, and don't see it that way, also i got a message that "no dont go back to your situationship", let's move forward and deeper into your reading, I am seeing and feeling that most of you guys here are intuitive , and do tarot/astro, universe is telling you to hone your skills, I am also feeling that the storm you are facing and faced in your life WILL NOT last forever, I am seeing and hearing you guys need a vacation or just some alone time for yourself, or maybe even open up about your feelings to people around you or close to you, no you won't be judged, there is hope guys, you are not alone, but again the message with pour the love you give outside to within you, you dont need external validation you are you are doing okay, its almost like universe is gently patting you on head, like our child you are enough, I am also seeing that some of you guys need to stand up for yourself you guys can stand up for others but themselves, so change that, you guys are truly embodient of balanced energy, but a small thing can rattle you, I am hearing "keep living, it does get better", universe is being very straightforward with you that you need to keep going, and not give up.

These are all the messages I have gotten for you my loves, hope it resonates and makes sense!

Signs - If you are a libra/Sagittarius/Leo/Taurus - Sun/moon/rising, and if you are wearing yellow/white/black/pink/blue tshirt/hoodie/sweatshirt, or i am seeing some of you guys lying, almost sleepy or like phone will fall on your face, if you might be near a charging port or refrigerator, or some of you could be drinking water.

pile 2

(The cards I got for you - ace of wands, 6 of pentacles , knight of pentacles, tower, 10 of wands)

Okay so the very first thing I feel and heard is "let your creativity shine", this pile might be very into artsy stuff, or enjoy the smaller art or moments in life, I am also seeing this group as who is most often percieved as "attractive to others" even if you don't see it yourself, you guys this pile had me, because I see you all go through you numerous amount of backstabbing or family issues, but still i see you, universe is proud of you my loves they will reward you too, and very soon! Okay so let's dive into your reading, so i am seeing and hearing that universe wants to say that, you guys need to apply for the jobs/colleges or even new type of hobbies, that you move, and be passionate about, I am seeing lots of procastination here, so don't actually do something even if its reading a book, it's like make the effort, the energy here is truly lazy ngl, hehe, so moving forward, I am seeing you will be the given a chance to work on a project soon, take that and you will shine, it will be kind of new opportunity for you, which you should take, I also am getting the message to wear what you want some of you could feel self conscious, but i am seeing you want that dress? wear that, step into your power, I am also feeling that you guys should might come across people from past, its upto you if you wanna talk to them or not. I am also feeling that you should help when you can small charity and donation, whatever you wish, and say you are grateful, i know it's cliche but small things like this truly help a lot, you might even start a new job soon, but be careful of the mental and emotional pressure, I am also feeling that, you guys need to rest just for a bit, not procastinating but actually breathe and journal, meditate, I am feeling universe is gonna send you a future partner soon/ or you may have already met them, anyhow! universe is telling you almost some of you might have gone through emotional upheavel or even harsh circumstances weeks/months ago, but don't worry you are gonna get back on track, you are again gonna feel better, you are not stuck you are just human, I also feel all of your stagnant work will be successful! "You are strong, but don't bear all the burdens alone", you don't have to, you dont have to pretend you are okay, cry it out, dance, heal, grow, and use your magic to build something for yourself!

So, that's it pile 2 hope you enjoyed!

Signs - If you are a aries/ saggitarius/virgo/capricorn/gemini - Sun/moon/rising, and if you are wearing tank top, striped tshirt, black/white/dark blue/printed, or some of you could be in car/or your dining room/kitchen while you see this.

Thank you for stopping by! Take care and remember you are loved <3

[rafesbuzzcutseason]

wicked game

chapter 12 - halloween part 1

synopsis: y/n is sarah’s roommate and the embodiment of sunshine. rafe, on the other hand, is her complete opposite. when the boys place a bet that he can't win her over, rafe takes the challenge without hesitation. after all, he never backs down from a dare. the closer rafe gets to y/n, he finds himself drawn to her warmth in a way he never expected, and for the first time, he wants to be more than just the guy with a bad reputation.

but secrets don’t stay hidden for long, and when y/n finds out the truth, rafe is left to face the consequences. now, he has to prove that somewhere along the way, the bet stopped mattering, because losing her was never part of the plan.

masterlist

cw: language, alcohol

it was finally time for the long awaited halloween party. kie and cleo had arrived at yours and sarahs dorm to start getting ready in full pre-game mode. the place smelled of hairspray and alcohol, half a bottle of vodka drunk in preparation for the long night.

sarah was sprawled across the floor with a straightener in hand, kie sat on the edge of your bed experimenting with glitter on her face, and cleo was pouring herself another drink.

you leaned against the edge of your desk, sipping slowly from your drink, doing your best to stay present. but your thoughts kept drifting.

specifically to rafe. and his stupid fake wedding and his stupid mixed messages he keeps giving you.

"you okay?" sarah asked, glancing at you through the mirror, eyebrow raised.

"yeah," you said automatically. too quickly.

kie caught it too. " are you sure? you've barely moaned about rafe tonight and thats how i know something is up."

you and sarah shared a quick glance to each other, not missed by the girls.

"okay. what the fuck did that look mean?" cleo chimed in, stopping mid eyeliner.

"is there something you guys aren't telling us?" kie questioned.

"i'll leave this one to you y/n." sarah turned away with a smirk.

you sighed, dragging a hand through your hair freshly curled hair. "ok, promise you guys won't make this weird?"

"you're not filling me with much hope." cleo stood up from doing her makeup.

you paused, letting silence fill the room. "i think i may like rafe."

kie dropped her dress on the floor, "oh. my. god."

"you're fucking kidding me. the same rafe who has a reputation for being a fuck boy? the same rafe who is sarah's brother?" cleo crossed her arms, confusion present in her face.

"i know i know. i don't understand it either. but things have just been, different. and this whole fake wedding thing has got me so in my head and i feel... upset?" you swallowed.

"you're jealous." sarah joined the conversation.

you hesitated, then gave in. "maybe. i don’t know why it’s bothering me this much. i mean- i do. but i hate that it is. i don't want to like him."

kie came over to you, serious now. "y/n, it’s not dumb to feel that way. you had a moment with him. he's been treating you differently and now he’s parading around campus with some barbie for a fake marriage. it’s performative, but it still stings."

"i feel so stupid," you said quietly, "it’s not like we’re a thing. it’s not like i have a right to be upset."

"but you feel upset," cleo finally spoke, turning to look at you. "that’s real. you’re allowed to feel weird about it."

"and jealous," kie added with a smirk.

you let out a groan, falling back against your pillows. "this is a disaster. i was doing so well being nonchalant and mysterious and now i’m just… in my feelings over a stupid fake marriage."

sarah grinned. "i mean, if it makes you feel any better, emily reed is the least exciting choice. literally no one at zeta delta likes her."

you laughed. "that helps. slightly."

cleo gave you a soft look. "so what happens if he sees you tonight? what do you want?"

you sighed. "i don’t know. but i want to look good when it happens."

"now that’s the energy i like to hear," sarah stood dramatically, grabbing her makeup bag. "sit."

you rolled your eyes but obeyed, letting her start on your makeup. "so you guys don't hate me for this?"

"we could never hate you y/n. we just always want the best for you." kie reassured you.

"exactly. and for you to be happy. even if i don't particularly like rafe, i know you see him in a different way than we do." cleo explained, her tone gentle. "and maybe he sees you differently too."

you blinked, caught off guard by the quiet truth of her words.

sarah leaned in, carefully blending eyeshadow across your lids. "he definitely does."

"cheers to that." kie lifted her cup.

when sarah was finally done, she spun your chair towards the mirror. you blinked at your reflection.

"damn,” kie said, leaning in. "rafe’s gonna need CPR when he sees you."

"not that we’d give it to him," cleo giggled. "but the thought is there."

you smiled despite the knot still turning in your stomach.

you were going to show up, look hot, and maybe, just maybe, make him feel a little confused for once.

"okay,” you said, standing and reaching for your boots. "let’s go."

a/n: oh you guys are not gonna be ready for the next chapter

🏷️: @heartzshiftamy @hoefordrewstarkey @luvrclub  @leleee3 @yktayy9669 @miumiuestmoi @anacamofficial @cokewithcameron @bloodofadoll @shorttandsweett @mysticbby2009 @emmiesummers @wintercrows @drewrry @starkeyxcameron @xxbirkindoll2 @stoned-writer @drewstarkeyslover @hannieskzzz @verycherryblossomhideout @letstryagaintomorrow @@jjsbbg7 @mariamadison6-blog @laniirackssss @xeneasworld @countryclubwhore @drewsphswife @mattyskies @moonywhisp3rs @starkeygirls @lmaolmaos @thereallifebambi @emeloyy @vcnillafairy @rafecameronswhoore @st8rkey @angeldiaryy @therealfairybatman @drewsephrry @vanessa-rafesgirl @dreamybabbyy @pogueprincesa @happy-mushrooms @hannaa20002000 @whoismxtti @darlingstarkey @mattssweetheart @wuluhwuhmaster @harringtonsbowgirl @my-name-is-baby @rrosiitas @davinashifts333@cinnamqnnlatte @fastlovela @stelleduarte @fastlovela @deeninadream @moond0llie @dylsdaily @nonbeliever1

[gyeomsweetgyeom]

omg now i need need need a fic based on frat boy jaehyun meeting Sweets mom/parents on FaceTime 🥹

[8:48 pm]

(cw: f!reader)

Ever since you and fratboy!Jaehyun got together and got out of the awkward phase, the two of you were attached at the hip. You were spending more time at the frat house than ever before. You spent the night, you ate there, you napped there, you showered there. Whatever there was to do there, you did it.

Well, almost everything. One of the many things lacking in the frat house among a regularly cleaned bathroom, clean floors, a working lock in the bathroom, and more feminine energy— was a steady access to sweet treats. As soon as they were in the house, they were gone in an instant, most times before they could even get on the shelves or in the freezer.

That's why you and Jaehyun made it a part of your regular routine to go down to the dining hall for dessert whenever your sweet tooth hit. Tonight you'd loaded up a little bowl with ice cream and a brownie, while Jaehyun was still deciding between cookies or a slice of vanilla cake. You already knew he'd be getting both and stealing some of your dessert too.

Your phone in your pocket began to vibrate in the pattern that told you it was a call. "Hi mom," you greeted as you set your phone up against the napkin dispenser.

"Hi Sweetheart, what are you up to? How were your classes?" She asks with the camera far too close to her face.

You sit there and tell her about your day, about your classes, and one of the assignments you'd been working on earlier. You're too focused trying to get a good ratio of ice cream to brownie on your spoon to notice Jaehyun walking behind you, right in the eye line of your mom before he settles into the chair beside you.

"Who is that?" You hear her ask.

"Who is who?" You ask, popping your spoon between your lips and passing your bowl to your boyfriend.

"The very handsome young man that just sat beside you," your mom chuckles.

Jaehyun perks up instantly and forces himself into the frame of the screen, "I heard someone call me very handsome. Hi!"

"Oh goodness! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes, who is this young man, Sweetheart?" Your mom asks, moving closer to the screen, presumably to look closer at Jaehyun.

"Yeah, Sweets, who is this? You didn't tell me you had a sister..." he smiles mischievously, his dimples popping out as he puffs his chest.

Your mom breaks out into a loud, excited laugh as she throws her head back. You glare at Jaehyun from the corner of your eye, "this is my mom, Jae."

"And who is Jae to my lovely daughter?" Your mom asks with an arched brow. She knows very well who he is, you'd explained to her that he was your almost-boyfriend a few months ago and even more recently, you came home heartbroken for break and told her all about your love life troubles. She wasn't just being cheeky now, no, she was trying to get a solid read on him.

Jaehyun looks over at you, his cheeks turning pink just slightly as he pops a mouthful of your ice cream in his mouth. He swallows slowly, his eyes never leaving yours until he looks back at the camera, "I'm uh, I'm her boyfriend."

"Well," your mom smiles sincerely, "that's wonderful. Have a good night you two. I'll talk to you later, Sweetheart, love you!"

"Bye, mom. Love you too," you wave, reaching out to end the call.

She manages to get out, "good job, Sweetheart!" before the call ends.

Jaehyun wiggles his brows at you and knocks your elbow with his own, "good job, huh?"

"Your head is already too big for your body, don't let this one compliment make it any bigger," you say as you roll your eyes, pulling your now half eaten dessert back into your grasp.

"Feisty," Jaehyun laughs, pressing his cold lips to your cheek, holding you there even as you try to get away, "I like it."

[gyllenhaalstories]

i lined up a bunch of songs to set the mood for this bad boy. that's what plays in da clurb right? just 2000s-2010s music pounding like a jackhammer through all the sweaty people's eardrums? i wouldn't know. anyway. i set the mood, getting ready for another masterpiece written by you <3

AND BOY WAS I NOT READY. BOY BOY BOY. he is so cringe he is so awful he is so sleazy. i hated every word that came out of his mouth, your writing is absolutely unmatched. pure genius.

also omg that header is so cool!!!!!! i love it!!! the bubblegum pop of colour almost distracted me from the the STD guy written in tiny tiny font down there. std guy. i can't. there is no better name. he oozes with std energy.

“What would we need a condom for, hm, silly girl? They're just cuddling. She hugs him, baby, hugs him real tight.” He pushes his cock forward to your clenching hole, but never makes the final move, never dips in. Your mind tells you no, yet your body clearly wants it, to be fucked. “And he likes her. Look, they're kissing.” He draws his hips back, cock in hand, and starts dabbing and tapping and burrowing the thick, plush tip against you. “Just making out, like us. That's okay, right? Kissing?”

that is DISGUSTING. give it to me now.

“This isn't even sex, baby. It's just. The. Tip.” He tilts your head up and looks at you over his stupid aviators. “Listen, we can stop if you don't want this. I'm doing this just for you. Because you asked me to. You wanted more, right? Wanted to feel good?”

THAT IS DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!! fuck why is it so hot.

Your head nods, maybe a little prompted by his fingers under your chin.

it keeps getting worse. i mean better. better in a worse way? yeah.

not the slip and slide pussy. sigh. he doesn't deserve the slip and slide.

NOW THE STD GUY IS PROJECTING BYE I AM SO SICK OF HIM and my god you'd think he's fucked enough people to know where the clit is by now but NOPE. maybe if he took off his stupid aviator glasses he could see better.

“Don’t tell me you're close already, baby?” You see him grin before your eyes roll back, your vision turning black. “I thought I would be special. But you're just using me. Just want my cock.” He lets his hips snap into you, thrusting in too deep but in a good way. “Little cockslut.” & “For real? A cockslut but not a cum dump? Such a rare breed, aren’t you?”

SICK, HE IS SICK. THE QR CODE???????? HOW DID YOU THINK OF ALL OF THAT H-O-W!!!!

“Fuck it.” You put his card into your bra. Stupid cockslut.

oh fuck off of course the closing sentence is insane LIKE THE REST OF THE FIC. i loathe him so much. i love this so much.

fun fact! whenever he gave his dick pronouns i just imagined it's that little guy from the trolls movies. gummy worm dick with pronouns. i cursed myself so now i have to share the struggle <3 yes i am on a sugar high because i ate way too many candies. 2 am is prime time candy time.

YOU'RE CRAZY IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAPHNE

fuckboy

unnamed ppu character x f!reader | wc: 3.5 k | explicit, mdni

summary: you meet this guy at a bar, drink too much and he shows you his questionable definition of making out aka storage room sex. spoiler: it's never just the tip.

warnings: filth, very dubious dub-con, drunk reader, her consent is questionable, gaslighting, manipulating, he's an insufferable fuckboy and needs to go to hell actually, he's a bad lay, unspecified but legal age gap, fingering, rough-ish unprotected PinV, creampie, petnames (baby, cockslut), dick+pussy pronouns, two ass smacks, no use of y/n, reader is able-bodied

a/n: this bitch was supposed to be a tiny drabble. oops. inspired by this post. @iamasaddie, you wanted me to elaborate, here you go, i hope this tingles in adult ways, at least a little bit. thank you for your help with the header <3 and thank you @guiltyasdave for the same as always: everything (aka beta and unlimited support and love 💕)

The bar is brimming, buzzing, the bass vibrates through every single person in the room, raw dogging each one of them, one after another and all at the same time.

He looks ridiculous. Too old for a place like this, hideous but somehow sexy Hawaiian shirt, of course only buttoned up halfway to show off his toned chest and a gold chain necklace, and he wears sunglasses, indoors. Big violet mirrors, aviator shaped, hiding behind them. Hiding his intentions but they are oh so clear.

The guy purses his lips, eyebrows dancing, hips moving side to side and back to front, obviously a preview of what’s to be expected if someone hooks up with him.

It was the blondish-white strand in the otherwise dark hair that made you weak for him. You don't even know why. While the rest of the man screams ‘fuckboy’ the blonde strand purrs ‘baby boy’.

The strand looks so pretty, whenever the color of the lights changes, always tinted in red or orange or blue. The strand looks really pretty in the storage room, too. It begs to be touched and tugged.

So you do. You touch it and gently tug it while he touches your thighs and tugs on your panties. Then he tugs them aside and you whimper when he runs his thumb through your slit without a warning.

“How old are you exactly?” he rasps against your neck, licking your skin while his thumb searches for something. Your clit probably, you think and moan when he finds it for a moment.

“Old enough to drink alcohol,” you mutter and let your head fall back against the tiled wall. The turned over crates bite into the flesh of your ass, empty bottles rattle when he pulls you closer towards him.

“So you're old enough for this bad boy.” He grins at you, a stupid proud grin, and takes your hand away from his hair and guides it to the bulge in his jeans. When you don't start moving your hand, he does it for you, over the whole length and back. “You want him? Wanna see him? You do, right?”

His damp breath brushing your ear adds to the dizziness in your head. Your head is spinning a little from the music and the drinks. Spinning, just like his thumb, that is now circling close enough around your clit to finally feel good.

“I dunno,” you murmur and try to get your swimming mind to focus.

“That's not a no, baby. So you want him. I knew it.” His free hand fumbles with his zipper. The crates you're sitting on quake when he pulls down his jeans. And before you know it, you feel something in your palm. Smooth and hard and hot, heavy, jumping in your hand.

It’s not exactly what you signed up for earlier, when he paid for two of your drinks and sucked on your earlobe. When he said something about you being so cute and making out with him. Just kissing. I promise, baby. I know a place. And then he dragged you along with him into this crammed storage room that smells like booze and sweat.

You kissed, for a minute or so. But now you have his cock in your hand. You look down and his thumb swipes over your clit, making you moan and him twitch. Why do you have his cock in your hand? He feels so heavy and warm. He feels a bit good, actually.

His hand moves to cup your cunt, the ball of his thumb pressing against your sensitive nub and a nimble finger -or two?- is slipping into you and immediately back out. At least that's what it felt like, you're not sure. But you feel yourself clamp down on nothing, chasing what was there just a second ago. His tongue moves over your pulse and a whine escapes you.

“Oh, I know, baby, you like him, right?” He moves closer, trapping you between the cold wall and his warm body, between the plastic crate and his dick. A finger dips into your heat again, deeper now, deep enough for you to be sure about feeling him inside of you. This is definitely not just kissing, but it somehow feels good.

“Baby, she wants me. You feel it, too, right?” His tongue runs along your neck and to your ear, his hips buck and your fingers tighten around his cock. He’s so hard beneath all the hot smoothness.

His fingers are pushing in deeper now and you clench around him. “See? You want me. You're so wet, baby. You know that it means you want me.” He pulls his fingers out and presses them back in, matching his thrusts in your palm with the rhythm of fingering you.

You groan out a curse and start accepting your fate. Fine, then you're getting fingered in exchange for a few drinks. That's okay, he's not too bad at it. The thickness of his fingers is half the battle.

The small blonde strand is catching your attention and lures your hazy mind in. Baby boy. Your body already surrenders to his ministrations and you roll your hips, moaning when he slips in another fraction of an inch.

“Mhmm, jus' what I thought. Desperate, that's what you are. You want more? You feel good?”

You dumbly nod your head because all you're able to think about is the throbbing ache in your pussy and the smooth movement of his cock in your hand. Yeah, he makes you feel good. With a wet sound he pulls his fingers out again.

“I'll give you more then, if that's what you want.” He nudges your hand off his dick and grips himself at the base. “Baby, look. He's excited for you.”

You look between your bodies again and squint to get a clearer vision. Precum. He's leaking. There's a clear drop forming over his slit. No, this definitely is not just kissing. Your eyes meet his again and when you open your mouth to speak he shifts forward and wedges the fat head of his cock between your folds.

You're whining again, your hips bucking into the sensation. A moment of clarity forms between your dazed mind and your nudged clit: Fuck. Shit. No. You don't even know his name.

When you start squirming he grabs you by your waist, firmly but not painfully. He hums, sounding a bit strained now. Slowly, slowly his dick glides back and forth through your slit, pushing at your nub whenever he reaches it.

“Baby, what's the problem? It feels good, doesn't it?” His eyebrows dance and he looks at you like a kicked puppy. “God, you're so messy, listen.”

It's true, you can hear the squelching over the soft clinking of bottles in the crate whenever he guides himself all the way to your entrance, rubbing his shaft against you.

“Yeah, but…” You groan quietly when he moves his hips back and drag himself along your clit. “A condom. You have one?”

He just laughs and continues his movements through your slick folds.

“What would we need a condom for, hm, silly girl? They're just cuddling. She hugs him, baby, hugs him real tight.” He pushes his cock forward to your clenching hole, but never makes the final move, never dips in. Your mind tells you no, yet your body clearly wants it, to be fucked.

“And he likes her. Look, they're kissing.” He draws his hips back, cock in hand, and starts dabbing and tapping and burrowing the thick, plush tip against you. “Just making out, like us. That's okay, right? Kissing?”

He pushes deeper again, only to move back immediately. Back and forth, just his tip rubbing you, just the fat rim teasing and teasing and teasing your aching clit. It looks good, the way he appears and disappears again, all glistening.

“That's okay, yes,” you mutter breathily, trying to suppress another moan. He doesn't let up, keeps the slow rhythm of back and forth. God, you need his fingers again, he needs to numb the pulse inside of you.

“I know it's okay. Feels good, hm?” he whispers sweetly against your lips before flicking his tongue against your top lip. “She feels so good, baby… You like how he feels? Like how my cock feels?”

You nod your head again and meet his movements halfway, tilting your hips so you can feel him prod your entrance a little more. The emptiness inside starts hurting and you whimper with his lips ghosting yours. He smells of beer and body spray, all mixing together with a whiff of arousal.

“I need… I need…” you gasp out and try to grind against him as good as you can.

“You want me to stop? Is it too much?” His movements come to a halt and he pulls away slightly, grinning and hiding it behind a sweet little peck.

You squirm again, this time closer instead of away. One hand clutches his, the one he pumps himself with. You swallow, your tongue darting out to wet your lips. They taste like booze and beer.

“No, no, god, please. I need a lil' more?” You tug on him, trying to guide his hand back right up against your core.

“Oh, I'm not sure, baby…” He gives in a little bit and lets his leaking cock rest against your sensitive nub again. “You really want more of me? Of him?”

You tug more on his hand, frustrated with his hesitation. “Need you inside,” you groan and pull on his fingers, wanting them back in your aching cunt.

“Inside? Are you sure?” He lets you squeeze his fingers into the wetness of your slit, carefully letting his dick follow.

“Yes! Please,” you whine and let go of his hand when he prods you with a single digit. Thank fuck, you think.

“But jus’ the tip,” he murmurs almost apologetically.

Your question about what the hell he is talking about is knocked out of your brain the moment you feel a stretch that’s not coming from his fingers. He presses inside of you. Just the tip, like he said. Like you never meant it. But he stretches you so perfectly on the first inches that you can’t even protest. Until he withdraws himself again.

“That good, baby? That what you want? Say yes,” he pleas, his breath hot against your ear and you feel him shift again. His dick slides all the way through your slit to your clit and back, slowly pressing back into you again.

“Fuck, yes.” It feels good. Better than the aching. You just want to feel stuffed. Your forehead drops onto his shoulder and you whimper when he continues to sluggishly fuck you with his fat tip. “But… a condom?”

He sighs and when he pulls out he stops moving again, leaving you hanging and you pussy clenching desperately.

“This isn't even sex, baby. It's just. The. Tip.” He tilts your head up and looks at you over his stupid aviators. “Listen, we can stop if you don't want this. I'm doing this just for you. Because you asked me to. You wanted more, right? Wanted to feel good?”

Your head nods, maybe a little prompted by his fingers under your chin.

“See, there we have it. You want this and they're just making out. Tongue kissing.” He pushes back in and it feels better than before. But you can't really say if he’s in deeper? You don't care too much. Tongue kissing. It makes sense. “I'm just doing this for you, baby. Because you seem to need it so badly.”

He smiles a friendly and seemingly sincere smile while pulling out and pushing back into you, painfully slow. Like scratching an itch with nothing but a tickle.

“I really care about you, hm?” His whisper fleets to your ear when he drops your face back to his shoulder. The next shallow thrust makes him grunt and your pussy clamps down on him. He slips past the tight spot -accidentally probably?- and you feel full for a second. Filled and good and you want it again.

But he draws back again, moaning into the crook of your neck. “Sorry ‘bout that, baby. But you're so wet. Got a slip and slide pussy there.”

His hips roll and his tip nudges back into you. Again and again, until your fingers are clutching him and your body writhes towards him, desperate for more depth. The edge of the crate cuts into the meat of your ass, the bottles rattling with every small thrust.

There isn't much to it. In your hazy mind this thought appears like a beacon. He's been inside already. The damage is already done, nothing you could take back now. He could fuck you stupid instead of feeding you this sample sized version of sex.

He wedges his hard cock back into your hole and slips out again, leaving your cunt sopping and clenching and empty. You can feel your slick slowly running down your thighs. You rarely ever felt this horny, this desperate for a dick. It’s almost like he teases you on purpose.

“Fuck me,” you whine and command at the same time. “God, just fuck me.”

“You sure? I don't have a condom. Are you clean?”

You manage to scoff at his audacity but… maybe he wouldn't ask this if he wasn't clean himself? That's good. It's safe, somewhat safe.

“Of course I'm clean.” You want to sound confident and pissed off but your voice is whiny and morphs into a moan when he thrusts into you halfway.

“I'm trusting you then. Don't lead me on.” He sounds strained now, strangled, with your snug cunt squeezing him.

A handful more slow strokes and he's buried balls deep. Both of you pant, you because your aching gets soothed and he because you pulse around him. Your body tries to egg him on to fucking move, but he just stays still.

“Shit. She tight.” He lets out a single hoarse laughter before his hips buck just a little deeper into you and you swear he must be somewhere in your guts. “Christ, she’s gripping him.”

He pulls out, almost completely, and fills you back up with one harsh thrust.

“Fuck,” you moan and hook your legs behind his ass when the tower of crates beneath you starts shaking from the impact. And then he starts fucking you, hard. Fast. The bottles rattle rhythmically in time with his thrusts.

His hands dig into your hips when he grabs hard enough to feel your bones. He pulls you onto him, fucking himself with you.

He's not good per se, just slamming into you over and over again, his balls slapping against your ass with every harsh pump. But he has a good sized cock, just an inch too long and a little too girthy. The stretching is never ending, the slight sting hurts just right, and his pelvis hitting your poor, swollen, teased clit is going to finish you sooner or later. You just feel so full. The way he stretches you out on his cock makes you dumb.

“You always do this?” He snarls, using the wobbling crate tower for more leverage. “Getting a guy to fuck you in the backrooms? You just need it that bad?” His thumb somehow finds your pulsing nub and he starts to rub it roughly until your legs quake around his waist from the stimulation.

“Oh… oh fuck…” Your nerve endings are on fire and your muscles twitch and clench. You clutch his arm, nails digging into his bicep when he won’t stop to harshly flick and rasp over your clit. Despite it all, you feel the familiar tug behind your navel. The heat is not building slowly, it’s approaching you violently.

“Don’t tell me you're close already, baby?” You see him grin before your eyes roll back, your vision turning black. “I thought I would be special. But you're just using me. Just want my cock.” He lets his hips snap into you, thrusting in too deep but in a good way. “Little cockslut.”

You whine, wanting to protest but you’re pinned down on the tilting crates, spread over this guy’s girth with your toes curling in your shoes. Complaining is the last thing on your mind.

“You gotta pull out.” Probably the only coherent thought you have left. You’re on birth control, but having this stranger’s cum dripping down your legs later when you're back with your friend?

“For real? A cockslut but not a cum dump? Such a rare breed, aren’t you?” His laughter sounds choked, breathless, the wet slapping of his slicked balls against your ass just as loud as his words. “I’ll pull out, don't worry, baby.”

He shifts his weight from one foot to the other and plucks your leg off of his waist. Even though your muscles are already tense and twitching he straightens it out over his chest. “But first I’ll make you come on him.” Another hard hip snap and the changed angle makes you see twinkling stars on your retina when he hits you deeper. He grins down at you when you cry out your pleasure. “That's right, baby, let me hear you. Let the people hear that you're my little cockslut.”

His lips latch to your ankle that's resting on his shoulder and sucks on your skin as if he wants to brand you. And while he somehow manages to fuck you harder you wonder how many women in this bar have a hickey on their ankles.

And then you stop thinking. His thrusts turn sloppy, sweat forms on his forehead and runs down your leg and adds to your slick. “I’ll make you come so hard. You can feel it, right? Make you gonna black out on my cock, baby.” A nip to your ankle and then a smack on the side of your ass and your pussy starts clenching and choking on his girth. Still he keeps on fucking into you, struggling with how hard your muscles tighten around him.

“I’m… I’m gonna…”

Your yelp makes him grip you tighter and with a last thrust you fall right over the edge. His moans ring in your ears when his hips stutter, but he keeps fucking you through it. Your spasming body is held securely in his arms, preventing you to hurt yourself on the wobbly crates.

“Fuck, that's it, baby. Best pussy I ever fucked, I swear,” he hisses when his hips start stuttering. “Gonna make me fucking come. Gonna come for you. You want that?” He slams into you and somehow prolongs your orgasm with how he spreads your quaking cunt open over and over again. More of that, you want more of this orgasm.

So you nod your head and moan, trembling like the stacked bottles beneath your body. “Yes, I want that, please. Jus’ don’t stop.”

Another smack lands on your ass and he gives you a few last pumps before he pushes into and against you so hard that it makes you wince. Through the pulsing of your walls you feel him throbs and twitch, spitting out his cum so deep into you that you feel stuffed, really fucking stuffed. And it feels so good.

After a second he starts rolling his hips, letting himself be milked by your pussy until he finally and unceremoniously pulls out. He tilts his head, looking at his handiwork over the rim of his aviators. “Fuck yes. She’s so pretty like that, all wrecked.” The tip of his cock squeezes through your swollen and ruined slit once more, slipping into your gaping hole to draw another moan out of you. When he pulls out again some of his cum gets pushed out and starts running down to your ass.

“You… you didn’t pull out?” Despite your anger your body still vibrates and twitches.

“Couldn't. She gripped me too tight. It’s her fault,” he smirks and pets your mound. “But don't worry, I'm snipped, baby.”

He wipes himself dry with his hand, doing a poor job but he doesn't seem to care. Still half hard and sticky he stuffs his dick back into his boxers. “You want my number, baby?”

“Fuck you,” you hiss and search the storage room for some tissues.

“I knew you'd break my heart, baby,” he chuckles and watches you clean yourself. “But I really like you. You're special. Got a perfect pussy, too. Here, if you wanna use me again, I'm all yours.”

He pulls out something off his pocket, like a business card. No name or number printed on it. He puts it on a crate next to you before kissing your forehead. “God, baby, I think I’m in love with you,” he croons with a shit eating grin.

“Sure you are, fuck off.”

He lifts his hands and walks backwards until he reaches the door. “Gonna miss you.” He purses his lips, making a little kiss noise and disappears back into the bar.

You look over your own appearance and see the blank business card. When you turn it around you see it. A fucking QR code. A fuckboy with a QR code. Some more cum leaks into your pulled back panties and you bite the inside of your cheeks.

“Fuck it.” You put his card into your bra. Stupid cockslut.

you liked this? that's alright, we are all filthy little animals here. commenting or reblogging is appreciated, thank you! <3

want more dub-con? maybe you like this short Dave York fic: tainted heart

find my general masterlist here

dividers: as always @/saradika-graphics

[elliesglock]

AI BABY ANALYSIS

so most of this live is spent without pazzi because they off doing sum freaky nasty in their dorm room or sum and can't join the party. big shocker i know. since there's not much from pazzi in this live this is gonna be a tiny analysis. hopefully you know how i like to yap. so welcome to part 458493 of redoing my analyses cause i nuked my account.

i'm gonna post the part 2 of the live because that's when paige and azzi decide to come up for air and join the gang. all time stamps in this analysis will be from that part 2 video i will link. okay guys girls and theys. these bitches are a freaky mess. 0:12 so everybody's vibing right and watching aubrey edits and then they start looking off into the distance and waving their hands for whoever just walked in to come in. now they're screaming and yelling and going NUTSOOOO right. and to me it's a teasy thing like they always do. they always scream and yell when paige and azzi join lives cause that's how we are and they think it's funny. but the energy gives this friend group's couple just walked in and everybody's excited, yelling and screaming to me funny. even aubrey is like yall have got to chill. they first start yelling at paige and personally i think it's because azzi's hidden behind her in the door and they think it's just her. their faces to me are like girl you're here but where's ur other half bookie! then eventually (i'm assuming azzi makes a face and comes into their sight due to jana's banshee screaming) because they all laugh and say azziii! and they don't look surprised at all. they're all so casual with the idea that paige and azzi walked in to together, this is an everyday thing. it's always assumed that where you see one you'll find the other because they just linger around each other that much. that's what this whole live gives. they off camera for most of it but it's sooooo noticeable how their friends act around them and treat them like a couple cause that's how they know them to be, insert example one how they react to them walking in. 0:30 azzi and paige poke their faces in the live to tease us and it's sooooo cute and why do they lowkey look exactly the same. idk this soulmate bs really messing around with them. kayla goes up to hug them and it feels sooo coupley, like i said being the friend groups couple. the friends all come to hug and say hi and ask how yall are doing because the love between you pulls people in, if that makes sense? i find it so sweet kayla went to hug them like they're everybody's moms who are in love with each other and in the best relationship known to man. it's also so prevalent in how jana looks at them, she just admires them so much it's so apparent in her eyes. because who wouldn't be happy watching their friends be that happy with their person. UGH OKAY WERE MOVING ON IM SICK. 1:00-1:19 alright yall im gonna get a little sick and twisted here and talk about the significance IN MY LIFE AND THOUGHTS of whatever the fuck is going w paige's hair in this live. it's in this like thrown up low bun kinda thing. and in a way it reminds me of a bun you put ur hair in when ur going down on.......yk. like u toss ur hair back and put it up quickly to get started and thats what her hair gives. she looks so lesbianism in this live im goofed. she also has this slow kinda walk to her and this goofy, playful energy around her that tells me she just got some before she walked in. this might be insane to put but im just saying it hardens my theory that they were busy doing something before they came to join. maybe kayla texted them to come over mid session and they came after yk. 1:19 also azzi kinda lingers in the back when paige goes to goof off with aubrey and it so gives she's watching her wife goof off with her buds and she's like shaking her head but in a lovey dovey wife way. idk just my projection but it def gives that. also everybody has this sus and funny ass look on their face watching paige walk cause hg is struggling bad. okay again im gonna be insane and say something, but to me paige's whole demeanor and look and fit and everything about her screams she just got kissed silly in bed for a bit, like she JUST rolled out of bed with her girl and came straight over. this is crazy to say but her energy gives she's been heavily loved that day and idk that sound weird but i can just see azzi holding, kissing, and loving on her in bed before they came and she still has that meek,

shy (only azzi) kinda facade on.

3:10 and this might constitute the teasy behavior they display in this next bit. so paige is talking to jana and then realizes she doesn't have her phone. idk if azzi is scrolling on it (she prob is) or if it's just laying near azzi, but paige asks azzi if she can have her phone. also the way she says please ugh that's your girl i know, i know ur so polite to her. this has been pointed out before on different accounts, but it seems as though azzi grabs her arm or hand and holds it and starts playing it. almost like she's playing with her fingers and hands because u can see paige's arm move. and she gets SUPERRRR tense like the kinda tense you get when ur pretty girlfriend is being touchy and teasy. she zones out because that's just what paige does when azzi touches her, it's literally like she's powering up everytime her girl even gets near her. and she's staring at the phone screen almost absentmindedly while her attention is subconsciously on azzi touching her. she has this awkward tense body language at the same time that doesn't paint a very single and not in a relationship picture lemme tell u. i just really love how paige responds to azzi. she's so sensitive to touch when it comes to her and it shows to me she really loves her and goes nuts when azzi even does anything close to fufilling her love language which i personally think is touch. and omg ill never forget the look on her face after she asks a few more times if azzi would please hand her phone to her. she accepts azzi just wants to hold her hand and she gets this little grinny/smirky look on her face like mmmm yeah that's my girl. LIKE SHES SO SMUG WHEN AZZI IS TOUCHY OMG I LOVE IT SO BAD. it's one of my favs cause paige really enjoys that shit. she wants to be claimed and she wants azzi to initiate, as one does yk, because it FEELS good to be wanted by someone you love so much. we never have to worry about it that spark ever goes away or if they get more casual as the years go on cause a sign of a healthy couple is ALWAYS if they still get nervous and smiley when their partner gets near/touchy w them. 3:24 eventually azzi lets go of paige's hand after she gives that look and she puts her hand down next to her. it also just screams to me that azzi DID have her arm or her hand because why else would paige just keep her arm there for no reason. after this, azzi seems so eager to give paige her phone back cause she knowsssss she's been touchy w her girl all day long and she just wanted to sneak in a little extra too around the familiarity of their friends. i ain't hating ur game azzi i know it.

3:34 now this next part :(((. it makes me so emotional omg im about to get my period but UGH it's literally so perfect, and sweet, and human the way they love each other. makes me want to put their love in a jar and never let anyone else have it. jana is showing paige a tik tok after she gets her phone back. she clicks on it and paige kinda reads through the slides and then her whole face lights up. SPECIFICALLY when a certain slide pops up she gets this huge shocked, happy face and laughs. now this specific slide is very dear to me because it's an AGENDA. it's an ai baby of what paige's kids would look like and i honestly think the original creator was being messy because they all look like paige and azzi's kids and not like one she just put in a random generator. ANYWHO. everybody around the phone looks at the video and smiles so wide at it. and it's very evident this is something that touches paige a lot cause she seems SO almost appreciative in her looks towards azzi but we'll get into that in a second. THIS MESSY BITCH JANA goes to the slide that paige was smiling at and says "this is yalls" AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT kayla's i don't have a poker face ass looks STRAIGHT at azzi as jana says it. perfectly describing to us whose kid it is. WE KNOW WHICH COUPLE IT IS THANKS KAYLA. idk the friends reactions get me cause again they admire their relationship so much and cheer it on so much that they'll send videos to paige about this being "their" kid. now paige just makes me so emotional during this clip and idk if it's the music in the background or if i wanna be loved this hard but the way she looks at azzi :( azzi's kinda confused bc she hasn't read through the whole tt yet and paige doesn't really wanna show the live what tt video it is because i honestly think she wants to keep it to herself. but paige looks up at azzi almost mapping her out and you can SEE how bad she wants a future w azzi reflects in her eyes when she looks at her. she sees the ai baby and she's like omg i want a life w this girl so bad. STOP, DEADASS IM STOPPING THE ANALYSIS THIS IS BS 💔. ugh one day these beautiful girls will be blessed w a marriage and babies and i'll be cheering them on so bad :(. i know they want it and i can see how much they want to have a future w one another and i think that's why this live makes me so emotional.

so it's a little more quiet from now on, i did yap so ofc there's more for yall to read and i stretched out this small ass live. i'm so bad w yapping my apologies. 7:11 paige kinda gives us permission to look at her girl for a second cause she wants everybody to see her so she turns to the camera to show everyone azzi the princess is here! she's like guys look at my gf!! she's so pretty! but you're only allowed to look at her when i say so! okay greedy ass we get it. oh look at me i'm paige bueckers and have an amazing relationship w this beautiful woman i've been in love with since i was born like OKAYYYYY.

grand finale folks:

they don't kiss BYE!

8:43 okay i'm kidding. now i don't know what was decided between paige and azzi because these next sequence of events tells me azzi decided to stay back for a second instead of leaving w paige. and ill explain why. paige waves goodbye to the camera and shuffles past everyone to wear azzi is standing off camera. the girls are watching tik toks and its very loud. i guess paige assumed since the music was on she could sneak a good bye kiss to azzi real quick but she gets caught oopsieeeeeee. personally at 8:48 i hear the kiss. it's def a goodbye kiss that paige is giving azzi as she says to aubrey she's going to go do some organizing or unloading or sum and she's leaving. it's like a bye baby i'll see u later kinda peck that accidentally gets caught cause they're so close to the camera. and ofc because this is always a teller, everybody's reaction around them makes me think they're like oh shit did the camera pick that up. cause kayla peeps it cause she can obv see more than we do and her eyes kinda widen before she looks back down at the phone to give them privacy and not draw attention. ice brady was in everybody's spirits this night. but yes i think paige kissed azzi rq to say goodbye and maybe said she loves her or sum like that. it's a quick kiss cause they're seeing each very soon again and that's the vibes.

here's what everyone anticipated the long awaited ai live analysis. hope you enjoyed and happy reading! feel free to leave ur thoughts as well pookies!! 💗

[kaliforniahigh]

This is me elaborating on the thoughts of Noah fucking you (or almost) in the backseat of his car.

Warnings: semi-public sex, name-calling, teasing, fingering (f receiving). I think that's it?

WC: 1.5k

You were both in the car, but Noah made no move to start it.

The parking lot was still half full. The bar you just left is still buzzing with energy. People drinking and mingling in the streets.

You felt the same rush of energy the moment Noah looked at you.

"You thought it was funny what you did back there?", he inquired, and you looked at him with an innocent look, even though it was crystal clear that you knew what he was referring to. "Don't act like you don't fucking know what I'm talking about", he surged forward, leaning over the center console, and grabbed your chin with his fingers. Just a tad forceful. Just the right amount.

"I was just playing pool", you tell him, voice a whisper in the stillness of the car.

"Yeah? Just playing pool?", he asks, condescendingly. "What about the part where you flashed everyone your sweet little ass like the slut that you are?"

You still stared at him. You were trying your luck with him, you knew that. And you wanted to know just how far he could take it.

"You think I didn't see all those slimy bar patrons staring at you as you bent down? Fuck, they were basically undressing you with their eyes, huh?"

His pointer finger started to descend down the column of your throat, and in seconds, you felt his firm grip on your neck, forcing your head back. His face was now looming close above yours. His eyes half lidded, as they hid a challenge behind them. He was also testing how far you could go.

"You'd probably like that, yeah? Took me all of my strength not to rip this slutty little skirt right then and there, and take you over the pool table just to show them who you belong to"

You moaned softly at his words. The warmth of his breath on your skin, and the press of his hand on your neck already making you soaked.

"Look at you, already so soft and pliant for me", he nodded his head, appraising you and the reactions you had for him. "Here's what's gonna happen. Since you wanna show off so badly, I'm gonna have you spread open for me in the backseat of this car"

You looked past the windshield, and you could see people gathering about in the distance. A person or two ocasionally walking up to their cars parked in the same parking lot you and Noah were in right now.

"But the people", you argued, but he shushed you.

"Don't pretend to be all shy now. I know that if I slide my hands down your panties right now, you'd be soaked for me. Isn't that right?", he asked, but you didn't need to answer. He already knew. "Now, be a good girl for me, and climb in the backseat", he instructed, letting go of you.

You tried to do it as gracefully as you could, but the moment your ass was in the air, you felt a sharp and precise slap land on your right butt cheek. Which made you yelp in the process.

Sitting down, the cool leather seat soothed the sting of the slap, but only barely.

In seconds, Noah was right there with you. And as he settled on the other side, your legs instinctively parted for him. He didn't have to tell you anything. Didn't even have to tell how he wanted you.

He started to brush his fingers absentmindedly over your thighs, squeezing here and there, kneading the soft flesh. You couldn't help but observe the way he spread his legs. The way he casually leaned his left elbow on the headrest, as if he was not about to ruin you right here, right now.

"Noah", you breathed out, and he only hummed in response, eyes not leaving the place you wanted him the most. "Please", you begged once, waiting for his reaction.

"Please what?", he lifted his eyes to look at you, and he had a glint of mischief swirling in them.

"Touch me"

"Touch you where?", he asked, teasing. Just waiting for you to say the words, and you could have it.

Instead, you grabbed his wrist, and moved his hand to your center.

"If you want it so bad, you gotta tell me, pretty girl"

He made no move with his hand, just resting it there. He could already feel the heat emanating from your core, and he had to hold back a groan.

"Want your fingers, please"

Your voice was so quiet. Your eyes were so reverent, that he couldn't help but move the flimsy fabric of your underwear to the side.

"I love it when you use your words"

He ran one finger up your slit, and he could already see you were glistening for him. You gasped out loud at the sensation. But you wanted more. You needed more.

Sensing your eagerness, he spread your thighs even further apart, revealing yourself whole to him.

"Fuck", he cursed to himself as his hand cupped your heat, coating his palm with your arousal. He moved his palm in a circular motion, and that's when you let out the first loud moan of the night.

He kept his rithm for a few seconds. Slow and a little lazy. Like he wanted to watch all of your reactions before he dove in.

"You look so pretty like this", he whispered, and in this moment, the two of you completely tuned out all of the noises outside the car. There was only the two of you right now. And you could care less about what would people see, or didn't see.

He kept his movements for a few seconds longer, before his eyes drifted back to you, studying your face contort in pleasure as he slid one long finger inside of you.

You were trying your hardest to stay still, to not rut your center against his hand. You knew he'd make you feel good in due time, but the waiting was eating you alive.

"You look so hot taking my fingers", he rambled, and you were not sure if he was talking to you or to himself at this point. "Love watching it disappear inside this pretty little cunt"

You moaned at his words. "Want more", you said, voice ruined, as a few tears already gathered at your waterline. "Can I have more, please?"

"Of course you can, baby. You're being so polite", Noah kept a casual tone of voice, and if you couldn't see the buldge straining against his jeans, you'd even say he wasn't affected by this at all.

A second finger slid in, and you reveled in the sensation of feeling so full. His fingers always filled you up no nicely. Stroking all of the right places. Evoking feelings from you that you thought were not even possible.

"Yes, just like that. It feels so good", you tell him, and you can see the praise gets to him by the little smirk he's wearing on his face.

Noah loves a lot of things about his life. Making his girl fall apart under him might be what he loved the most, though.

He picks up the pace of his fingers. Your wanton moans, and the sounds of your wetness, lewd and just the right amount of dirty, are the only sounds that could be heard in the stuffy car.

You can feel youself bulding higher and higher with every stoke of his fingers, as he hits the right spot over and over again.

"Gonna cum for me, baby?", he asks, leaning his body over yours and kissing you deeply, swallowing the noises making their way from the back of your throat.

"Yes, yes, yes", you chanted against his lips, eyes locked on his, as his forehead rests against yours.

The position must feel straining on his wrist, but, if he's uncomfortable, he doesn't show it. He doesn't let up, and his pace doesn't falter.

"C'mon, let go for me, pretty girl. Wanna feel you shaking under me", his voice is quiet, only for you to hear. The car becoming your sanctuary. Somewhere reserved only for the two of you.

His words are what did you in, as you came with repeated moans of his name, and curse words that became unintelligible the more the feeling build. Your thighs were shaking, your midsection not able to stay still as you thrashed under him.

At some point, you had to grab his wrist and physically pull him away from you, the sensation so overwhelming, you weren't sure you could handle being touched for much longer.

You laid - as much as you could in the cramped space - with your body limp. Beads of sweat forming at your forehead, but you didn't care about any of that right now. Your body was weightless, and you couldn't feel your legs anymore.

"That's what you wanted, huh?", he said, snapping you out of your post-orgasmic bliss. His tone was more playful right now, as he basically told you that he could see right through you.

He could see right through you the whole night.

"Not quite. You haven't fucked me yet", you teased him.

"Yeah, that's gonna have to wait until we actually get home. There's no way I can fuck you right with the tight space in this car", he looked around himself, noticing the way his legs couldn't quite fit properly.

"You think anyone saw us?", you asked him, suddently a little concerned, adjusting your panties and sliding your skirt in its rightful place. Noah only shrugged his shoulders, a nonchalant expression on his face.

"If anyone did, I hope it was one of those idiots at the bar"

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[rainsoughtflowers]

hate to be lame

tw/cw - cursing, smoking

a/n - sneak peek of my new story hehe

paring - geum seung-je x reader

you turn right, heading towards the road that will lead you down to your cram school, only for your path to get blocked by an umbrella.

you stop, staring at the outstretched parasol before switching your attention to the culprit. 

a boy in a maroon uniform leans back against the wall, one foot propped against the bricks and his free arm resting comfortably in his pockets. his head is tilted towards the side, a lazy grin resting on his lips. behind a pair of glasses are a set of dark brown eyes, which study you carefully the moment your own gaze meets his.

when it becomes apparent that this encounter is not an accident, if not by the way he fails to retract the umbrella, then by the way he continues staring at you as if he's entertained by the whole ordeal, you slip off your headphones and let them hang around your neck, "do you need something?"

his grin widens at the annoyed tone of your voice. he finally lowers the umbrella, leaning it against the wall before holding up his finger as indication for you to wait, "one second."

he reaches that hand into his other pocket, pulling out a phone. he taps at the screen, then holds it up so it's level with your face. your features scrunch in confusion as his eyes switch between you and the screen.

whatever correlation he finds sends a pleased emotion running across his expression. he hums, lowering the device before resting his attention on your face once more, "you're na baek-jin's cousin."

his declaration doesn't surprise you. it's no secret what your relationship with na baek-jin is. practically everyone at your school knew about the familial ties you possess with the coldhearted boy.

but this guy clearly doesn't attend your school, and he's not someone you've ever seen before. something stirs within your stomach, an emotion between unease and a different, foreign sensation.

you turn to face him fully, "and who are you?"

"a friend of his. geum seung-je." he replies vaguely. the discomfort gets heavier.

"right," you respond, finally putting some of the pieces together. this boy must be a part of that gang your cousin seemed to cherish so much. the one you barely knew anything about, and preferred to keep it that way. why he would show up at your school is beyond you, but you don't have the time nor energy to dwell on the matter, "well, you're too late. baek-jin left an hour ago."

for some reason, his grin widens even more. the corner of his mouth quirks up on one side, an amused chuckle slipping past his lips. it unsettles you, the delight that brightens his eyes, "who said i was here for him?"

the way he speaks is condescending. like he knows something you don't, and he thrives off of that fact. and just that one, simple power imbalance forms something different within your stomach. different from the unease. different than the confusion.

"what?" you spit out.

seung-je releases a long, drawn out sigh. he reaches into his other pocket, and this time, a pack of cigarettes and a lighter appears in his hands. his movements are practiced and eased as he balances the cigarette between his teeth and flicks the lighter on, "na baek-jin sent me. for you."

it falls into place more rapidly now, each detail connecting with one another in a web of one singular distinction. and once you see it, that clear picture he was trying to nudge you towards, you feel your frustration boil and bubble to the surface with little to no warning.

"that fucking bastard," you curse beneath your breath, laughing incredulously at your cousin and this situation as a whole. the audacity for him to send one of his lackeys for your protection. and an annoying one at that. you snap your head towards the boy, "yah," you snap, prompting him to glance up, "stay away from me, and tell my cousin i don't need an escort."

your retreating footsteps are followed by his laughter, which contains all the qualities of that crawl uncomfortably beneath your skin. and following that sound is another pair of footsteps. this one heavier, slightly quicker, as if to catch up to your hurried pace.

you release a frustrated breath at the realization that he's ignored your command and began following you regardless of it. you whip around, facing him with a harsh glare. he comes to a halt just one pace away from you.

"are you deaf?" you demand.

undeterred by your hostility, he shrugs as he takes a slow drag from his cigarette, "just blind."

you scoff at his smart remark, a clear play on the glasses resting on the bridge of his nose. and of course, it's his own way of making it be known that he heard you loud and clear. meaning, he went against your wishes simply because he can.

whatever. maybe if you ignore him, you can pretend he doesn't exist.

you turn back around, tuning out the sound of his footsteps by placing your headphones back around your ears. you turn the volume up, and it's just loud enough to drown out his breaths and the impact of his shoes hitting the ground.

by the time you arrive to your cram school, you've practically forgotten all about him. as you walk through the doors, it's easy to refrain from sparing him a glance, and you can almost pretend that your frustration came about from nothing at all.

read the rest on wattpad or ao3 !

https://www.wattpad.com/story/393881028?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=rainsoughtflowers

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Death Takes a Holiday | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, mentions of self-hate, lots of death, lots of mentions of death, just so many, grief, misogyny, degradation in a not-fun way lol

Word Count: 7664

A/N: Buckle up... This one's a doozy.

Mobile Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Masterlist

Supernatural Series Rewrite Playlist

Nothing Dean could say could convince you of your innocence in the battle with the siren. Every time you looked at the wounds you’d given him, nausea would well in your throat. 

What hurt even worse were the things Sam and Dean had said to you. You couldn’t look at either man without thinking of them. You and Dean still slept in the same bed, but you slept on the far edge with your arms curled around yourself and facing away. The light you’d felt slowly coming back to you was diminishing once more. 

You were becoming further isolated in your own mind. In your retreat, you were becoming more and more worried about Uriel’s silence. Was he even aware of what you’d been going through? Had he seen what happened with the siren and not cared to help? 

“Hey, you with me?” Dean asked, snapping his fingers in front of your face.

You nodded. “Yeah, yeah,” you forced a smile, “I’m good.”

Dean gave you a look that said he knew you weren’t, but you just gave another small, lopsided smile to reassure him. 

Sam returned to your diner table while he shoved his phone in his pocket. 

“What’s up?” Dean asked, his eyes lingering on you before turning toward his brother.

Sam immediately opened his laptop and started typing. “Bobby found something in Wyoming.”

“A job?” Dean asked, taking a bite of the burger in front of him. You took a fry from his plate, munching on it with your shins resting against the edge of the table in front of you. 

“Small town, no one's died in the past week and a half,” Sam replied. 

“That so unusual?”

“Well, it's how they're not dying,” he explained. Looking up from his computer every once in a while, he continued, “One guy with terminal cancer strolls right out of hospice. Another guy gets capped by a mugger and walks away without a scratch.”

“Capped in the ass?” Dean asked, brows knitting together in confusion. 

Sam read, “Police say Mr. Jenkins was shot in the heart at point-blank range by a nine-millimeter,” from the article he was apparently skimming.

“And he's not a doughnut?” Dean asked around the food in his mouth.

“Locals are saying it's a miracle.”

“Oh, god,” you rolled your eyes.

“It's got to be something nasty, right? I mean, people making deals or something,” Sam suggested. He shoved his laptop in his bag and nodded at the burger on Dean’s plate. “Get that to go.”

Dean looked down but remained unmoving. 

You were confused, but you didn’t have the energy to ask what was up. 

“Come on,” Sam urged. 

Dean still stayed in his seat. 

“What?” the younger brother scoffed.

After hesitating, Dean asked, “Sure you want me going with you?”

Sam looked taken aback. “Why wouldn't I?”

“I don't want to be holding you back, or nothing.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Dude, I've told you a hundred times, that was the siren talking, not me. Can we get past this?”

Dean put his food down and brushed his hands off. “Yeah, we’re past it.”

Frustration bubbled in your chest. Dean was being a real hypocrite in that moment; he’d told you repeatedly he didn’t mean what he’d said to you and yet was taking his anger out on Sam for the same thing. Maybe Dean had been telling you the truth when he was under the siren’s spell and was lying to you now. 

****

Given Dean and Sam needed a little space from each other, you and the older brother headed to a motel to start research after you’d interviewed the man who survived a bullet to the heart. The man was convinced it had been god, but an unsettled feeling in your stomach told you it had to be something else. However, he hadn’t been to a crossroads, and he said he felt like angels were watching over him. 

While the case was puzzling, your interest in it could not be held for longer than a few seconds before your mind raced with thoughts about the siren case. 

“What?” Dean asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. 

“Huh?” You looked over at him; he sat on the table in the room behind Sam’s laptop while you were cross-legged on the bed behind yours. 

“Where’d you go?” he asked. 

You snorted. “What do you mean?”

“You were completely zoned,” he replied. 

“Yeah, sorry,” you sighed. “Jus’ got a lot on my mind.”

Dean sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. 

“What?” you questioned. 

“How long are we gonna keep doing this?”

You gave him a quizzical look and tilted your head to the side. 

Dean gestured between the two of you. “This!” He waved his hand around some more. “We just… keep dancing around each other.”

You scoffed. “Are you really lecturing me on not talking about my feelings.”

“Forget I said anything,” he immediately huffed, standing from his chair. 

“Wait, Dean, I was kidding,” you said. 

Dean grumbled, “Didn’t sound like it to me,” and started grabbing clothes out of his duffel bag to possibly go take a shower.

“C’mon, stop.” You shut your laptop. “I really was. I’m sorry.”

He paused and dropped his toiletry bag back into the duffel, then ran that same hand through his hair.

“So, where do you wanna start?” you asked after a few moments of silence.

Dean crossed his arms and turned to face you. “Where do you think?”

“I can’t stop thinking about the siren case,” you said. 

He nodded, gaze cast to the floor. It seemed he was expecting you to say that. “Me neither.”

“Really?” You were slightly surprised. 

“Yeah, I mean, how could I not?” he questioned. 

You took a deep breath. “Just be honest with me, okay?” Dean looked up at you. 

“Were you telling the truth when we were… fighting?” you asked. “Was the siren telling the truth about me making you feel guilty?”

He hesitated, and that really told you all you needed to know. 

You bit the inside of your cheek, tears springing to your eyes. “Okay, that’s alright. I’m glad I know now, at least.”

“(Y/N)—” Dean told you. “Sweetheart, I would’ve never told you that had the siren not tricked me, okay? Please, believe me.”

You nodded, sniffling your tears back to keep them at bay. “I know. But maybe I needed to hear that. Maybe I needed to know. Maybe we just needed to hear that so we can move forward from this angel shit.” You began to pace. “I mean, look at us, Dean. We’re so horrible at talking to each other— we had to have a fucking siren intervene to get us to be honest— we’re so far on either side of the bed that we may as well be sleeping in two separate ones— not to mention, sex seems to be completely out the window; off the table—” you flailed your arms around as you talked, “it’s almost like we don’t know each other anymore, Dean.

"And I miss you! You’re standing right in front of me, and I miss you. It feels like you’re still in Hell, and I’m still alone in that cabin with Uriel looming over my fucking shoulder. And— And the worst part is, I don’t even know how to begin fixing it. But I just— I want you to come back to me. I want to be able to come back to you. Because I am fuckin’ losing my mind, man. And before all of this, you were always the one to keep me grounded.”

You put your hands on either side of his face. “Tell me what I need to do to fix this. To— To fix what I’ve done. Please know how sorry I am, Dee. I’m so fucking sorry.”

Dean gently grabbed your wrists and tugged them ar0und his neck before cradling your face in his hands. He kissed you deeply, and you could taste the salt from tears the both of you had tried not to shed. 

When he pulled away, he told you, “It’s not just you. I- I haven’t been trying nearly as hard as you to fix things, and I’m sorry. I keep thinking that maybe you’ll finally realize you’re too good for me and decide to hit the road for good. Because you are too good for me, (Y/N). You— I mean, nobody’s ever fought as hard for me as you have. And I’m sorry that I’ve been… distant. I just— there’s things I can’t talk about yet, (Y/N). I can’t. I’m trying, but I can’t.”

You nodded. “I get it. But I’m here for you whenever you’re ready, okay? Even if that means when we’re eighty and sitting on porch swings. There’s no rush.”

He smiled weakly at your attempted joke. “I’m sorry I hurt you, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry, too. For… everything,” you told him. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

You leaned up on your tip-toes and kissed him eagerly. He responded in kind, and it seemed he wanted to deepen it. Unfortunately, the door swung open. 

You broke away, and Dean grumbled, “Dammit, Sammy.”

Sam seemed confused, obviously not realizing he’d interrupted something. 

“Anything?” you asked, brushing your hands over your thighs as you sat down on the end of the younger brother’s bed.

“That cancer survivor?” Sam began. “He was clinically dead, his wife pulled the plug, and now, he's taking her out for their twentieth anniversary.”

“Any sign of a deal?” Dean questioned. 

“No. What about you guys? Found anyone dying around here?”

“Not since Cole Griffith,” you replied. “He died ten days ago. Dean couldn’t find anything after him.”

“So, what are you thinking?” Sam asked, looking between you and his brother.

Dean shrugged. “Eh, maybe it is what the people say it is.”

Sam sat down at the table and flipped his laptop toward himself. “Miracles?” he scoffed. “Dean, our experience, when do miracles just happen?”

“Well, there's no deals,” he shrugged. “There's, uh, no skeevy faith healers.” He poured himself a cup of coffee before stretching one out to you. “I mean, these souls just ain't getting dragged into the light.”

“Maybe 'cause there's no one around to carry them,” Sam thought aloud.

“Whaddaya mean?” you asked.

Dean sat down beside you.

“Well, grim reapers—that's what they do, right? Schlep souls? So, if death ain't in town—”

“Then nobody's dying,” Dean nodded. “So what? The local reaper's on strike? Playing the back nine? I don't know, Sam.” He took a sip from his mug.

“Well, then, let's talk to somebody who might.”

Dean chuckled. “Well, last I checked, huggy bear ain't available.”

“No, dude, the kid,” the brunet suggested.

“The kid? The kid's a doornail.”

“Exactly,” Sam affirmed. “Look, if he was the last person to die around here, then maybe he's seen something. We should talk to him.”

“I love how matter-of-fact you are about that,” Dean chuckled. He looked to the floor and took a sip of the coffee Sam brought him. “Strange lives.” 

****

That night, you headed to the cemetery. As you set up a few candles and a cloth atop Cole Griffith’s grave, Dean flipped through his dad’s journal. 

“You sure this is gonna work?” your partner muttered.

Sam looked up from the bowl he was working over. “No,” he sighed, “but if his spirit's around, this should smoke him out.”

Dean slammed the journal shut and stood up.

“What?” you asked.

“This job is jacked, that's what.”

“How so?” Sam chimed back in.

“You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let's light it up, right?” He ran a hand through his hair before gesturing down at the grave. “But this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people.”

You stood, too. “I don’t want ‘em to die, either, babe, but there’s a natural order.”

Dean quirked a brow at you. “You're kidding, right?”

“What?” you snorted. 

“You don't see the irony in that? I mean, me and Sam, we're like the poster boys of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death,” Dean replied. 

Sam shrugged. “Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?”

A weight crossed Dean’s shoulders. “We're no different than anybody else.”

“I'm infected with demon blood. You've been to Hell,” Sam replied. “And (Y/N)’s in cahoots with angels. Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. Neither am I. Neither is she. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be.”

Dean looked up at his brother. “Eh, Joe the Plumber was a douche,” he jested. 

“You gonna help me finish this?” you asked. You’d sunk back down to your knees in the midst of their conversation. 

“Hey!” a voice barked. You looked toward the voice; the source of which was a man carrying a flashlight jogging toward you. “What are you doing here?”

You quickly jerked upright and held your hands up in surrender. You and Dean shared an uneasy glance while Sam said, “Just take it easy.”

“Okay, this— this is not what it looks like,” Dean chuckled awkwardly. 

“Really? 'Cause it looks like devil worship,” the man scoffed.

Dean’s voice nearly cracked from how high-pitched he was. “What? No! No, this is not devil worship. This—This is—this—this is, uh—” he gave up. “I don’t have a good answer.”

“We're leaving,” you said, quickly gathering the things atop the tombstone.

“You're not going anywhere,” the man snarled, looking over to the younger brother, “ever again, Sam.” His lips drew up in a smile, and his eyes went white. 

“Alastair,” Dean breathed out. 

Discreetly, you reached for your knife. You knew it wouldn’t kill him, but you truly didn’t care.

“I thought you got deep fried, extra-crispy,” Dean said evenly.

“Nah. Just the pediatrician I was riding,” the demon shrugged. “His wife's still looking for him. It's hilarious. Anyway.” He moved his gaze to Sam. “No time to chat. Got a hot date with death—”

You’d barely given him time to finish his sentence before you were chucking your knife at him. He stopped it telekinetically just inches from his face and threw it back at you. With little time to react, you couldn’t move completely out of the way. Somewhat fortunately, the knife aimed for your heart lodged itself in your shoulder and pinned you to Cole’s gravestone. 

Alastair flicked Dean away to another graveyard while you cried out in pain and concern for him. Searing pain was coursing through your upper body; almost as though molten lava had been poured on your left shoulder. 

Alastair tried to do the same to Sam as he did with Dean, but it didn’t work. 

“You're stronger, Sam,” you heard Alastair say faintly over the ringing in your ears. “You've been soloflexing with your little slut?”

You rolled your head back and forth painfully, vision nearly blacking out.

“You have no idea,” Sam replied, and you could hear the smirk in his voice. Suddenly, you heard a large crash. Your eyes burst open to see Sam had thrown Alastair across the cemetery. Sam raised a hand— assumedly to try to exorcise him as you’d seen him do in the warehouse with Ruby— but Alastair fled the man’s body. 

That was the last thing you saw before your world went dark.

****

You faded in and out of consciousness in the backseat of the Impala. Sam spoke in a hushed voice, “I don’t know if they saw anything. Look—” he huffed, “why are you getting pissed off about this? I either did it, or we all woulda fuckin’ died.”

“Whatever,” he sighed. “I gotta go.” 

Then, the car slowed to a stop. You assumed you were in the parking lot of a motel somewhere. 

Sleep was threatening to pull you back under; the steady throbbing in your arm almost daring you to close your eyes again. Your head lolled to the side limply, and you succumbed to the darkness once more. 

****

The next time you opened your eyes, you were lying on a motel bed. You groaned, rolling on your side while clutching your shoulder. 

“Sweetheart, you there?” you heard a familiar voice call. 

“Yeah,” you hummed, shutting your eyes in pain. “How’re you feeling?”

“Like I got thrown fifty yards into a solid cement gravestone,” he snarked. “Oh, wait.”

You rolled your eyes, cracking a small smile. Cautiously, you sat up on your elbow opposite your hurt shoulder. 

“I think I have a concussion,” Dean whined. 

You turned to see him holding an ice pack to his head. “You probably do.” Wincing, you got up from the bed. “Lemme see.”

“Uh-uh. Sit down,” he told you. “I’m fine. You got stabbed.”

“I’m fine,” you insisted. “I’ve had worse.”

He gave you a skeptical look. 

“Okay, fine, this one’s pretty up there—” he chuckled while you continued, “but I’ll be okay.” You gestured down to the pressure wrap Sam assumedly had put around your shoulder. “He did a good job.”

Just then, the younger brother opened the door. “How you doing?” he asked the two of you while he shut the door behind him. 

“I'm in pain, that's how I'm doing,” Dean grumbled, the soft disposition he had with you disappearing.

“He thinks he has a concussion,” you told Sam. “I’m good. Nice job with the wound care, House.”

The brunet flashed a crooked smile. “Thanks.”

Just then, you remembered what you’d heard in the car, and your smile faded. Still, you tried your best to keep up a facade until you could thoroughly think over whether or not you’d tell Dean.

“So, demons, huh?” Dean said, breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah,” Sam snorted. “So much for miracles.”

Dean gave him a slightly accusatory look. “And what the hell happened with Alastair again?”

“I told you, he tried to fling me, or whatever.” He waved his hand in demonstration while nonchalantly walking over to the coffeemaker. “And it didn't work, so he bailed.”

They’d apparently had a talk prior to you waking up.

“Well, how come he couldn't fling you? He chucked you pretty good last time,” your partner reminded his brother.

Sam shrugged. “Got no idea.” He turned to the coffeemaker again, and you stared at Dean. 

It seemed he was trying to hold back his words, but to no avail. “Sam, do me a favor. If you're gonna keep your little secrets, I can't really stop you, but just don't treat me like an idiot, okay?”

“What? Dean, I'm not keeping secrets.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. 

Dean hummed in disapproval. “Whatever. So, did you go back and Q-and-A the dead kid?”

Sam walked over to him with a thin notebook in hand. “Didn't have to. Bobby called. He did some digging.”

“And?”

“He thinks I'm right. Local reaper's gone. Not just gone— kidnapped.”

“By demons? Why?”

Something dawned on you in that moment. “ ‘And he bloodied death under the newborn sky— sweet to taste, but bitter when devoured’.” 

Sam looked at you skeptically. “Uh, yeah…” he trailed off. “How did you know that?”

You cast your eyes to the floor. “My, uh, my mom had a copy of Revelations that’s been in our family for centuries. She would read it to me to remind me why we do what we do— because this is coming for us at the end of time.”

Dean looked at you with an unreadable expression. “Swanky,” he said. “What the hell's that mean?”

“You kill a reaper under the solstice moon, you break a seal,” you explained. 

“Solstice is tomorrow, by the way,” Sam cut in. 

Dean scoffed. “How do you ice a reaper? You can't kill death.”

“I don't know. Maybe demons can,” the younger brother shrugged. “Where the hell are the angels is what I want to know. We could use their help, for once.”

“(Y/N)?” Dean asked. 

Both boys turned to you. 

“I haven’t heard from Uriel in forever,” you said. “And, uh, I do not want to call him.”

Dean sighed heavily. “It looks like we're gonna have to take care of this one ourselves.”

Sam scoffed. “What are we gonna do, just swing in and save the friendly neighborhood reaper?”

“You got a better idea, I'm all ears,” Dean deadpanned.

“Dean, reapers are invisible,” Sam said. “The only people that can see them are the dead and the dying.”

“Well, if ghosts are the only ones that can see them…” your partner trailed off. 

“Dean—” you shut your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose, knowing exactly where this was going.

“C’mon, (Y/N),” he replied. 

“It’s just the concussion talking,” you asserted. “That’s insane, even for you, babe.”

“Am I missing something?” Sam questioned.

“He’s saying we become ghosts,” you explained.

“Dean—”

“Exactly,” you cut Sam off. 

Sam considered for a moment. “How?” he asked Dean. 

“Sam—!”

****

“I am so sorry, Pamela,” you told her. Dean led her into the motel room, and Sam opened the door for her. You followed behind, shutting the door.

“I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you three are,” she sighed. 

“I know,” you whined. “I don’t feel great about this either.”

“Which one of you brainiacs came up with astral projection?” she asked.

Dean raised a hand. “Yo,” he said.

Pamela smirked. “Of course. Chachi.” Dean made a face at you. ‘Chachi?’ he mouthed.

You smiled and shrugged.

“So, let's be clear. You want to rip your souls out of your bodies and take a little stroll through the spirit world?”

Dean nodded.

“Do you have any idea how heavy-duty insane that is?” Pamela crossed her arms.

“Maybe, but that's where the reaper is, so…” Dean trailed off hesitantly.

“So, it's nuts,” she insisted.

“Not if you know what you're doing.”

“You don't know what you're doing.”

“No, but you do.”

“Yeah, I do. And guess what?” she said in upset. “I'm sick of being hauled back into your angel-demon, Soc-Greaser crap.”

“Look, I'd love to be kicking back with a cold one, watching Judge Judy, too—”

Pamela cut Dean off. “Blind jokes?” she scoffed.

Dean rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean. We're talking the end of the world here, okay? No more tasseled leather pants, no more Ramones CDs, no more nothing.” Dean paused. “We need your help.”

Pamela reluctantly agreed. You and the boys rushed around the room to prepare for her ritual, and she sat on a chair between the beds in the room. 

“Tell me something, geniuses,” Pamela said. “Even if you do break into the veil, and you find the reaper, how you gonna save it?”

“With style and class,” Dean remarked.

Pamela shot a deadpan expression in his direction. “You're gonna be three walking pieces of fog who can't touch or move anything. You'll be defenseless, hotshot.”

“I seem to recall a bunch of ghosts beating the crap out of us.”

“Yeah, well, they had plenty of time to practice,” she scoffed.

“Well, then, I guess we got to start cramming.”

Pamela scoffed again. “Wow, bunch of heroes. Alright.” She patted the bed to her right. “Lie down,” she instructed.

 You and Dean laid on one bed, and Sam laid on the other. 

“Close your eyes.” She recited an incantation, and you clutched Dean’s hand. He squeezed yours in response. 

“Okay, guys, that's it. Showtime,” Pamela said. 

Dean sat up next to you, letting go of your hand. “Well, nothing like shooting blanks. What's plan B?”

You looked around and slid off the bed. Strangely, the room seemed to have faded to shades of blue. “Wait, Dean, does the room look weird to you?”

Dean stood up and turned around, examining the room. What seemed to catch his eye, though, was the two of you laying on the bed; still hand in hand.

“Oh, I'm so feeling up Demi Moore.”

You smacked the back of your partner’s head lightly. “Perv.”

He chuckled.

“Alright, so,” Pamela spoke. “I'm assuming you're somewhere over the rainbow. Remember I have to bring you back.” She stood and walked over to Sam. “I'll whisper the incantation in your ear—” she leaned over and whispered something to Sam that made him smirk widely.

You shot a questioning glance at Sam. “What’d she say?”

Sam shrugged, still grinning. 

You shook your head, a small smile tugging at your lips. 

****

As the three of you walked down the street, a jogger went right through Sam without noticing. Sam flinched, but the girl kept going. 

Dean laughed. “That was wild.” Then, he stuck his arm into Sam’s chest up to the elbow. 

Sam’s face went stony. 

Dean grinned. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Get out of me.”

You snorted. 

“You're such a prude,” Dean snarked. “Come on.”

****

What felt like hours passed. Dean was getting frustrated with having found nothing, but something caught your eye on the balcony of a house behind him. 

“Oh, shit. That’s Cole,” you said, nodding at the blond little boy staring at you. 

As soon as the brothers turned to look at him, he flickered and disappeared.

You started off toward the house and went straight through the closed door of the home. You followed the sound of someone screaming and lots of noise coming from behind the closed door of another room. As soon as you entered, a ball went flying straight through your stomach. 

Quickly, you realized that Cole’s mother was cowering on his bed as balls flew past her, and Cole was the one throwing them. 

“Stop!” you ordered, and he instantly obeyed. “How are you doing that?”

“Who are you?” Cole asked, backing away from you. 

“Relax, Cole. It's okay,” Sam said, treating the boy as though he was a lost dog. 

“How do you know my name?”

“Look, this isn't gonna be easy to hear, but… you're—dead. You're a spirit. Us, too.”

Cole scoffed. “Yeah, thanks. I know I'm dead. What do you want?”

“We just want to talk.”

“About what?”

You and the brothers convinced the little boy to tell you about how he died. He wanted to stay close to his mom, though, while he did; you assumed for some sort of assurance that things were okay. 

You watched as Mrs. Griffith poured a glass of vodka and took a sip. 

“I was outside all morning,” Cole began. “They tell you to be careful when it's cold.”

“Cold air can cause an asthma attack?” Dean asked.

Cole nodded and shrugged. “But then I was in my room. It happened so fast. I called out for my mom, but nothing came out. Everything started spinning, and then I was just standing there, looking down at my body.” 

“And that's when you saw the man?” Sam asked.

Cole nodded meekly. “Creepy old guy in a black suit. He wanted me to go with him, but,” he looked back over at his mother, “I didn't want to go.”

“How'd you get rid of him?” Sam asked.

“I didn't. The black smoke did.”

Dean encouraged him to explain further.

“It was everywhere. I hid in the closet, and when I came out, it was gone, and so was he.”

“Do you know where the smoke went?” Dean asked.

“No. But I know where it is.”

Suddenly, the lights started flickering, and Cole jumped. Mrs. Griffith looked around, scared.

“They're back,” Cole whispered, clearly scared. He vanished.

Then, a blast of wind hit you in the face. Something white and human-shaped went up the stairs of the home.

“Another reaper,” you pointed out.

“Hey!” Dean shouted. “Wait! We need to talk to you!”

A woman descended the stairs, black hair shining in the dim light. For a reaper, she was gorgeous.

“Dean,” she breathed out.

He was confused. He shot a look at you before turning back to the woman. “Do I know you?”

“We go way back,” she said. “You don't remember me?”

“Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say that…” he trailed off, smug as ever. “You're gonna have to freshen my memory.”

Tessa quickly stepped forward, reached up, and pulled Dean down into a kiss. 

“Whoa!” you said, and Dean quickly pushed her off.

“Warn a guy first, would ya?” he said uncomfortably. 

“Sorry,” she said to the two of you. “Had to give him his memories,” she explained.

“And that can’t happen any other way?” you scoffed. 

The reaper shrugged.

“Wait, Tessa?” Dean asked, something having dawned on him.

“That's one of my names, yeah.”

“So, you do know her,” Sam stated.

You crossed your arms.

“From the hospital after the accident,” Dean responded.

“With your dad?” you asked, surprised.

Your partner nodded.

Tessa rubbed her hands over her thighs, turning to go up the stairs again. “Well, this was fun. Now, if you'll excuse me—”

Dean stopped her. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, you can't— you can't take the kid.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Demons are in town, that's why,” Dean replied. “They've already snatched your reaper pal. The kid knows where.”

She rolled her eyes. “So?”

“So, you should shag ass,” Sam said. “For all we know, they could try and snatch you, too.”

“Except that this town is off the rails, and someone has to set it straight.”

“Yeah, we understand that, but these are special circumstances,” you pointed out.

“What? Your whole angel-demon dance-off? I could care less. I just want to do my job,” she replied.

“Right, yeah, and, look, we want to help you do your job. So, if you would just bail town—”

Tessa cut Sam off. “No,” she said firmly.

“Well, then, could you hold off until we fix this? Please,” Sam begged.

She sighed. “Alright, but just so we're clear, when I start reaping again, I'm starting with the kid.”

Sam nodded. “Understood. I'll find him.”

“What are you gonna say to him?” you asked the younger brother as he went up the stairs.

“Whatever I have to.”

You nodded.

“I'll tell you, life is funny,” Tessa said, pacing around you and Dean.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“You and me, together again.”

“Are you— are you making a move on me?” Dean asked, eyebrows knitting together.

You shot Tessa a glare.

“You're the one that got away, Dean,” she said, ignoring the daggers you were giving her. “You'd be surprised how little that happens to me.”

“Can I tell you something?” your partner asked Tessa.

You and the reaper were intrigued.

“For like, a year after our little, uh, experience, I wished I went with you for good.”

This was news to you, and your eyes softened as you watched him speak.

“But I guess things are different now,” Dean said.

Tessa snickered. “What? The angels on your shoulder?”

“So, you know about that, huh?” He seemed genuinely surprised, as were you. “Well, hey, don't get me wrong. I mean, most’a the ones we've met are dicks with wings. But still, y’know, I've done things— horrible things— and someone upstairs still decided to give me a second chance. It just makes me feel… I don't know.” He looked down at the floor sheepishly. 

Your heart cracked a bit in your chest, but Sam gave you no time to consider. He’d brought Cole down the stairs and cleared his throat to grab your attention. “Hey, guys,” he said.

Tessa looked down at the blond child who was hiding behind Sam. “Hey, Cole. I'm Tessa. I'm not going to hurt you.”

“It's okay, Cole. Just tell them what you told me,” Sam urged.

Cole still stood peeking out from behind Sam, his shoulders slumped slightly. “I saw the black smoke at my funeral.” He swallowed. “At the funeral home. It was everywhere.”

Then, the lights flickered, startling Cole.

“You doing that?” you asked Tessa rhetorically. 

She shook her head and looked around.

Suddenly, the front door opened and black smoke poured through. It filled the room, and you ducked with your hands over your ears and eyes closed. When you could no longer feel it surrounding you, you hesitantly opened your eyes and stood up. 

“Tessa!” Dean called. 

“Dammit,” you sighed.

“Well, how the hell are we supposed to fight that?” Dean gestured.

“I don't know. Learn some ghost moves?” Sam scoffed.

Dean grunted, “By tonight? Yeah, sure. I'll meet you back at Mr. Miyagi's.”

“Who's Mr. Miyagi?” The blond child’s question caught your attention, and a smile grew across your face. “For now, you, kid.”

****

Cole spent the afternoon showing you, Sam, and Dean how the ghosts you constantly fought used their abilities. You picked it up quite quickly; albeit a little faster than the boys. That night, you went to the funeral home. The outside walls were covered in shimmering blue symbols.

“This looks like New Jack City. Can nobody can see this?” Dean asked, gesturing to a clueless pedestrian that waltzed right through him.

“Maybe it's demon invisible ink. Only see it in the veil.”

You nodded and gathered your courage. The door in front of you was open, and you walked through. You and Sam flanked one side of the room while Dean took the other, but you found nothing. Then, you moved into another. 

Lying in the middle of the floor was a crudely-drawn eight-pointed star, and Tessa was piled in a heap atop another man in the center of the symbol. You assumed the other man was another reaper. On the far side of the room, a man stood guard. He hadn’t seen you or the brothers yet.

The older brother turned to you and Sam with a smirk. “Check me out.” 

You rolled your eyes, suppressing the slight smile threatening to crack across your face. Dean took a few steps forward before vanishing and reappearing in front of the guard.

Playfully, he tapped the man on the shoulder before disappearing again. The man punched at Dean blindly, and Dean appeared in another spot. Sam disappeared from beside you, and you just stood by watching the boys play with their food. 

The man eventually scrambled away from Sam and Dean. 

“Y’know, this ghost thing?” Dean smiled. “It's kind of rad.”

Just as you were about to join your group, a man walked in carrying a chain. He whined painfully while his hands let out smoke between his fingers.

‘Iron,’ you realized.

Then, a third man walked into the room. “Boys. Find the place okay?”

“Alastair,” Dean breathed out.

‘Fuck,’ you thought.

Alastair had the boys wrapped in the iron chain while he cocked a shotgun. “By the way, where’s that girl of yours? She’s got spirit.” He aimed the gun at Dean, and you used that opportunity to let out a sharp whistle.

Alastair’s head turned to where you were standing. “I had a feeling you weren’t far,” he said darkly. “Dean leads you around like a bitch on a leash.” He fired at you, but you disappeared before the rocksalt could hit you.

Somehow, though, the demon predicted where you’d appear next. The blast of the rocksalt felt like it ripped straight through the very essence of you, and it took several moments for you to come back to. 

When you could finally function again, the first thing you heard was Alastair telling Sam, “Well, go on. Why don't you try some of your mojo on me now, hotshot?”

Groggily, you looked over at Dean and Sam. Sam was fuming, and Dean looked at his brother pointedly.

“It's hard to get it up when you're not wearing your meat, huh?” the demon snickered.

“Go to hell,” Sam growled.

“Ah, if only I could,” he tsked. “But they just keep sending me back up to this arctic craphole.”

“To kill Death?” Dean scoffed.

It was then you realized you were bound by iron around your neck to a leash a demon held. The demon’s hand trembled, smoke pouring out through his fingers.

“No, to kill Death twice. It takes two to break a seal,” Alastair explained. “I figured another one would show up, though. They're like lemmings.” He pumped the shotgun and fired at Sam. He disappeared, and Alastair walked up to your partner. “By the way, it's, uh, good to see you again, Dean.”

“You can shoot us all you want, but you can't kill us,” Dean told him. 

Sam reappeared with his arms wrapped painfully around his torso.

“Fucking sucks, huh?” you called to Sam.

He nodded, wincing.

“Ah, that so?” Alastair said, responding to Dean. Then, a scythe materialized in his hand. “Anywho, moon's in the right spot; the board is set. Let's get started, shall we?”

“You're gonna kill a reaper with that? It's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Dean snarked, trying to appear as tough as possible.

The demon turned his attention to Dean. “Is it?” He raised his eyebrows. “An old friend lent it to me. You know, he doesn't really ride a pale horse? But he does have three amigos.” He walked over to the center of the room and the reapers as he spoke. “And they're just jonesing for the apocalypse.”

The demon hauled the older-looking reaper up by his collar. “It pays to have friends in low places, don’t you think?” He smirked wickedly while he put the scythe behind the old man’s neck. After chanting an incantation, Alastair pulled the scythe forward. A white-blue light emanated from the reaper’s neck, and you watched his head roll toward you. 

When you looked up to Alastair, you noticed an iron chandelier above the reaper trap. The demon then grabbed Tessa by the shoulder and held the scythe to her neck. Terror was behind the woman’s eyes, but she did her best to seem angry and defiant. “Stop!” she demanded.

Alastair just began his incantation.

You stared up at the chandelier, and it began to shake. It seemed the boys had joined in, too, and you just tried to muster up as much anger as possible to drop the chandelier. 

Just as Alastair finished his incantation, the chandelier dropped on the corner of the reaper trap and broke it. Instantly, Tessa disappeared, and you felt the chain around your neck breaking. Then, she appeared next to Dean and Sam.

“Bye-bye,” Dean smirked at Alastair.

You took that as your cue to vanish.

When you reappeared outside of the funeral home in the dark of night, Tessa and Dean were the only ones with you. 

“Where’s Sam?” you asked.

“We’ll go find him,” Dean said, nodding at you. “Tessa, you get out of here.”

She nodded, and you bid her goodbye. When she’d disappeared, you and Dean started searching for Sam.

“You okay?” Dean asked you.

You grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. He returned your gesture, silently reassuring you he was okay, too.

“Where the hell do we even start?” you questioned after walking a few paces. 

Dean sighed, “No idea. Just stay close, okay? I’m sure Alastair’s not happy with us.”

You nodded. 

“That’s right,” the demon’s voice came from behind you. “And you can’t run, Dean.” 

Suddenly, the source of the voice appeared ahead of you. 

Dean shoved you behind him in an attempt to shield you.

“Not from me,” Alastair sing-songed. “I'm inside that angsty little noggin of yours.” He advanced on you and Dean, and the two of you quickly retreated. 

Just then, bright lightning struck Alastair. When the light dissipated, he was gone.

“What the hell?” Dean breathed out.

“Guess again,” a familiar voice said from behind you. 

“And what do you want?” you questioned, knowing you’d be turning around to see Castiel.

Dean just scoffed and began walking away. 

“What just happened?” Castiel asked, following you and Dean. “You two and Sam just saved a seal. We captured Alastair. Dean, this was a victory.”

“Well, no thanks to you,” Dean scoffed. 

“What makes you say that?”

You then realized something and turned around. “You were here the whole time, weren’t you?”

Castiel looked at the ground. “Enough of it.”

Dean grunted, “Well, thanks for your help with the rock salt.”

“That script on the funeral home; we couldn't penetrate it.”

You tsked.

“That was angel-proofing,” Dean realized. 

“Why do you think I recruited you three in the first place?”

“You recruited us?” you snarled.

“That wasn't your friend Bobby who called, (Y/N),” the angel explained. “It wasn't Bobby who told Sam about the seal.”

“That was you,” you stated. You just shook your head and ran a hand through your hair.

“If you want our help, why the hell didn't you just ask?” Dean questioned.

“Because whatever I ask, you seem to do the exact opposite.” “Well, thanks for not sending Uriel after me,” you said. Even in your exasperation, you were grateful you didn’t have to deal with him.

Castiel nodded.

“So, what now, huh?” Dean asked after a moment of silence. “The people in this town; they're just gonna start dying again?”

“Yes.”

“These are good people. What, you think you can make a few exceptions?”

“To everything, there is a season.”

Dean paused. “You made an exception for me.”

Castiel looked at the ground and then back up at Dean. “You're different.”

At that moment, Tessa appeared before you and Dean. “Guys? I could use your help.”

The next time you opened your eyes, you were in Cole’s room. His mother was staring at a book of his baby pictures and crying silently. 

“Hey, Cole,” Tessa said softly. Her jeans and black leather jacket had transformed to a flowing white dress. 

Cole startled and backed away from the reaper before looking over at Dean. “Tell your brother thanks for nothing.”

Dean looked at the floor with his hands shoved in his pockets, and you wrapped your arm around his elbow in an attempt to reassure him.

“Look at her, Cole,” Tessa urged gently. “Do you see how unhappy she is?”

Cole looked at his mother. “That's why I want to stay with her,” he whined sadly. 

“As long as she can feel you, she'll be in pain because she can't let go,” Tessa explained. “Because you won't let go of her.”

“Why won't anybody tell me what's on the other side?” Cole asked, looking between you and Dean.

The reaper smiled softly. “Maybe nobody wants to ruin the surprise.”

“That's not an answer.”

Dean then piped up. “She won't answer you, Cole. Reapers never do. But trust me. Staying here is a whole lot worse than anything over there.”

“Why?” the boy asked.

“Because one day, your family will be gone, and there'll be nothing left here for you.” Dean drew in a heavy breath. “It's okay to be scared.”

Cole straightened up and raised his head a little higher. “I'm not scared.”

“We're all scared,” Dean said. “That's the big secret. We're all scared.”

Cole looked back at his mother before turning back to Dean. “Are you coming?”

Dean smirked lopsidedly. “Oh, I'm sure I'll be there sooner than you think.”

When Cole had one last look at his mom, he hugged Tessa tightly before disappearing into a brilliant white light. When the light disappeared, a weight seemed to have lifted off Cole’s mother’s shoulders.

“Look out for that boy,” Dean told Tessa.

“Look out for yourself, Dean,” she nodded.

“What do you mean?”

“I've been around death from the get-go. You know what I see most? Lies. ‘He's in a better place.’ ‘At least they're together now.’ You all lie to yourselves, Dean, 'cause like you said, deep down, you're all scared. Stop lying to yourself, Dean.”

“What?” Dean’s brow furrowed.

“The angels have something good in store for you,” she mocked. “A second chance. Really? 'Cause I'm pretty sure, deep down, you know something nasty's coming down the road. Trust your instincts, Dean. There's no such thing as miracles.”

Your stomach sank, and you couldn’t bear to look at either person.

“What are you saying?” He asked.

Tessa said nothing, and a moment later, she was gone.

“Dean, I—”

“Don’t, (Y/N),” Dean begged. “Don’t, sweetheart, please.” You nodded, seeing as he was having trouble holding back his tears.

Then, Dean disappeared. 

“Dean?” you cried. “Dean?!” 

Suddenly, you felt something pulling at you. It felt like you were being dragged by the very fibers of your soul. And then, you were back in your motel room. 

You took a gasping breath and shot up, taking in your surroundings. The first thing you laid your eyes on was Pamela holding a hand to her stomach while blood poured out from between her fingers.

“What happened?” Dean asked from beside you.

“Guys, where's Tessa?” Sam questioned frantically.

“She’s…” Dean trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Pamela, I'm so sorry—” Sam tried to tell her.

“Stop,” she demanded, clearly very angry.

“—You don't deserve this.”

“Yeah, I don't,” she snapped. “I told you I didn't want anything to do with this. Do me a favor? Tell that bastard Bobby Singer—” she choked out, “to go to Hell for ever introducing me to you three in the first place.” A shuddering cough roughly took over her. 

“Take it easy, Pamela,” Dean told her. “If it's any consolation, you're going to a better place.”

She turned her head in the direction of Dean’s voice. “You're lying,” she muttered weakly. “But what the hell, right? Everybody's got to go sometime.” Then, she beckoned Sam closer. “Come here.” 

Sam leaned in close, and the psychic said something that made his eyes grow wide. When she’d finished, she started coughing raggedly again. She leaned back against the headboard, and a trickle of blood flowed out of her mouth. Her head lolled to the side, and she went still. 

“Pamela?” Sam murmured hesitantly. “Pamela!”

Dean looked over at his brother. “What did she say to you?”

Sam looked away. 

“Sam, what did she say?!”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-nesmith @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[tojihavoc]

Arranged Marriage |Not proofread| Part 4

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 [ᴛᴏᴊɪ ꜰᴜꜱʜɪɢᴜʀᴏ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ꜱᴏʀᴄᴇʀᴇʀ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴀʀʀᴀɴɢᴇᴅ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ ᴀᴜ | ꜱʟᴏᴡ ʙᴜʀɴ | ᴇɴᴇᴍɪᴇꜱ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇʟᴜᴄᴛᴀɴᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ]

synopsis -> Toji Fushiguro is sharp, silent, and used to being bought and discarded, and when your once-mighty sorcerer clan begins to crumble under political pressure, a desperate alliance is struck. One that binds you to the man most feared by the jujutsu world: Toji Fushiguro. He agrees to the marriage not for love, nor loyalty — but for everlasting money, cursed tools, and freedom from the Zeni'n clan that coerced him into marrying you.

You are the clan’s last hope. Together, your sole purpose is producing a strong heir with his physical abilities and power and your powerful cursed technique. But nothing about your marriage is safe — not your body, your heart, or the child your clan is already whispering about behind closed doors. You are everything he doesn’t believe in: elegant, loyal, and cursed energy ridden. But you see him. Not the assassin, not the monster — but him.

His kiss is rough at first. it's clumsy, almost angry. Not with you, but with himself like he doesn’t know how to be gentle. Like he’s afraid of what gentleness might mean.

“You don’t have to—” you start, but his mouth steals the words before they’re fully born.

“Don’t talk,” he rasps. “Not unless you’re telling me to stop.”

He lays you back on the bed, the first time you share one since you both married, with reverence he’ll never name out loud. His body is heavy panting over yours. In all the blood he’s shed and In all the things he swears you shouldn’t want.

But you still reach for him.

"Would you stop if I told you to?" you asked.

“Yeah. You say it, I’m done. No questions.”

You run your fingers down the line of a scar across his ribs as he shudders, jaw tight and swears under his breath. Not at you but at whatever made him this way.

“You’re shaking,” you whisper.

“You feel too good,” he mutters against your throat. “Too warm. I don’t know what to do with it... You don’t get it,” he says, voice hoarse. “I’m not good. I kill things. I ruin things.”

“I know,” you whisper, fingers tangled in his hair. “I want you anyway.”

You guide him with soft touches, with your voice when he gets too rough, with your breath when words fail. And slowly, slowly he starts to listen. He slows down. His mouth finds yours again, less war now, more need. It isn’t perfect. There are moments he grips too hard, pulls too fast. His hands are trembling but when he finally pushes inside you, it’s not about dominance but about something he’s been afraid to need for years. Something safe. Something that's his.

He groans low in his throat, burying his face in your neck.

"I don't hate you. I just wish things were different" you whisper running your bare hands against his back, feeling his healed and unhealed scars.

His forehead presses yours. “I don’t know how to want something without ruining it,” he mutters. “But gods help me, I want you.”

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs, and you’re not sure if it’s for the way he moves or the way he feels everything too deeply.

“I’m not,” you breathe. “I want this. I want you.”

He stills like the words stun him. Then he moves again, slower, deeper, each thrust like it’s carved out of his chest.

And when you finally fall apart beneath him, he follows, moaning your name over and over.

“You shouldn’t want me,” he growls lowly, almost to himself.

“I do.”

His forehead presses to yours. And for a moment, all the cruelty falls away. There’s no clan. No curse. No heir. No war. Just his breath, your touch, and the kind of silence that says everything.

The Morning After

The room is silent Something warmer and fragile biting the surface. You’re lying on your side, half-draped in the sheets, still naked and your breathing uneven. His is too. Toji has his arm draped across your pillow and your head rests on his bulging bicep. His hand flexes once, then stills again. You look over at him and see his eyes flutter open and look at you. You wait for him to say something about what happened last night. You wait for him to say something cruel. Something sharp to reset the distance. Something like “This changes nothing.” But nothing comes. You lean over to look at him as he intensely gazes up at the ceiling with regret and exhaustion etched onto his face and also....longing?

“You regret it,” you say softly. It’s not a question.

He doesn’t look at you. “I regret needing it.”

The words land hard. But the next ones fall even heavier.

“I told myself I could do this. Marry you. Give them their damn heir to protect your clan and make my family find me useful. Thought I could stomach it all if I kept you at a distance.” His jaw tightens. “But then you keep looking at me like that. Like I’m still human.”

You shift to face him fully. His fingers comb through your hair gently as he turns to his side to look at you. His fingers stay where they are, heavy and warm against your skin.

“You are,” you say. “You bleed. You ache. You protect.”

“I kill. I'm a murderer. And you still manage not to despise me.”

“I’ve seen you kill. I’ve also seen you flinch when someone touches me wrong. I’ve seen you carry me like I mattered.”

He closes his eyes. “That’s the problem.”

You don’t say anything. Neither does he.

But his hand, that killer’s hand, moves, just slightly, brushing your ribs like he needs to remember you’re real.

And when you fall asleep again, you swear you feel him pull you closer. Just an inch. Just enough to mean something. Right now we're fragile, but the world around us is not.

The Next Morning, he wakes up beside you, his face soft as light shines on to it from the window. His arm is still draped around your waist and the sheets smell like skin, intimacy and unspoken words and vulnerability. You get up and use the bathroom and you both head downstairs silently, except it's different this time. It's more comforting.

Later you both move around the house differently. It's not an eerie, cold, indescribable kind of quiet. He gazes at you in a way he never used to. The servants file in and out tidying up the place. When you brush past him in the hallway, his hand lingers a second too long on your back. When you sit across from him at meals, he doesn’t avoid your gaze anymore. You are both sprawled out on the living room floor as you teach him to read your clan's scrolls, relics about lineage, cursed techniques, and bloodline combinations. You sit close, knees touching. He pretends to grumble when you correct his pronunciation, but his eyes keep drifting to your lips when you speak. “Pay attention this is important!”

“Yeah, yeah I am paying attention” he lets out reading through the scrolls. You roll your eyes and wrap your arms around yourself wanting to ask him something. You twiddle your thumbs.

“So….are we gonna..uhm- share the same bed? We did fuck so…I mean unless you don’t want to of course” you blabber out nonsensically.

He looks at you and lets out a sigh running his hands through his hair. “Do you want that? I don’t mind. The clans want you to get pregnant anyways” he replies uncertainly.

“Yeah okay that’s fine with me. I guess I’ll head to bed then” you get up making way to the room you and Toji both decided to share now. ceYou wear your sleepwear and do your nightly routine, comfortably getting into your king-sized bed waiting for sleep to overpower you. Suddenly you feel movement beside you and look to see Toji on the other end of the bed. You turn over to face him as the moonlight falters in from the window. His features are wrapped in the moonlight and his face glows pristinely and you just stare at each other.

“Do you…..I mean can I…hold you?” He whispers gently.

“Of course you don’t need to ask” you respond as he inches closer to you wrapping his large calloused hands around your neck and waist pulling you in to him closer. You let out a breath as you realize he’s shirtless AMD in boxers and your just in you underwear but it doesn’t feel sexual. More like intimate than anything.

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since I first saw you” he whispers. “Standing at the altar. I didn’t dare look at you because I knew if I let myself love you, it would hurt too much. I didn’t want that. I still don’t. But I can’t stop myself anymore. Please….just stay.” He lets out a pained whimper and you just wrap your arms around his neck breathing in his scent.

“It’s okay. We can make this work. Having a kid with you doesn’t sound so bad even though it’s been less than a year” you play with his hair.

“I’d be a shit dad” he retorts.

“No you wouldn’t. You would never.”

He gruffs out an incoherent response as sleep takes you both over and you both sleep in each other’s arms.

You sit there in the room as the clan elders surround you. You can hear whispering and you are the main attention. The clan leader sits in front of you and you know why you were summoned alone without Toji in sight. They want the heir. Soon.

“You’ve had time. A union without legacy is useless. You carry power in your blood and he carries strength. The heir must come soon.”

These words are repeated in many ways and you just nod shakily not knowing what to say. The clan needs a legacy, and you are just a mere object to them. But some pathing in you wants to have Toji’s kid. To be swollen with his child. They blabber on and on and after a while you return back to your estate. You return home, cold and shaken and something in you realizes that Toji notices. He notices something is wrong but he doesn’t say anything. He never does. But he takes care of you and makes you tea and brushes your hair softly as you hum. Youre trying to get your mind off things.

You are both sitting near the fireplace with soft mugs in your hand as you decide to say it: “they want a child. Now.”

He freezes but you expect it. He sets his mug down and eyes you up and down. “ I mean that was the deal. We give them what they want.”

“Do YOU want it?” You question. He doesn’t say anything. He just walks away. You know what you were expecting. You stay up for a while and decide to head to bed. The bed is warmer now. Not because of closeness, but because you’re sharing it out of necessity, out of expectation. The clan is watching. Waiting. You’ve heard the whispers: Why isn’t she pregnant yet? You don’t talk about it with Toji. Not directly. But you see it in the way he looks at you before he reaches for you. You crawl into bed beside him. You realizes he’s still awake.

“I’m trying to save you. From myself” you almost don’t hear him whisper.

“I just want you. I don’t care.”

“Do you want to fulfill the clan’s promise?”

“You don’t look like you’d use rubber, anyway” you scoff as he caresses you.

He still touches you like he knows your body, not like he wants to know your heart. One night, when he pulled away and laid flat on his back without a word, you curled toward him and whispered, “If this is just a transaction again, just tell me.” His breath hitched. A pause.

Then, low: “You think I can touch you like that and not feel it?” You waited for more. It never came.

He didn’t kiss you that night. Just wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you against him, his grip too tight, like he’s angry at himself. Like if he held you close enough, he won’t want to push you away in the morning.

He unclothed you and you did it passionately on the bed. It wasn’t out of this world sex, it was soft, almost felt like love. Like it was his way. He kept asking you if it was too much and you whimpered his name which made him do it at your preferred pace. It was an intimate moment. It wasn’t loud but nothing really needed to be said. Your name was at the tip of his tongue and he couldn’t hold himself back.

It was a couple weeks later, and you began to feel ill. You were in the bathroom throwing up in the toilet when you felt heavy footsteps behind you and hands grab and pull your hair back as you leaned over the toilet. You said his name between gasps as he knelt down and cleaned you up rubbing his hands alongside your back. “Shhhh I got you just let it all out, mmkay?” He ran his fingers through your hair and ran you a bath.

“Sorry ive been feeling so sick. Do you….think maybe I’m pregnant?”

He runs his hands through his hair. “Shit. We have been having unprotected sex so maybe that is the case. Get in the bath okay? We can talk about this later.”

He began to leave when suddenly you held your hand out. “Wait. Do you….maybe wanna join me? Just in case anything happens?”

“You’d be okay with that?”

“I want you to.”

He hesitates for a second but then pulls off his shirt and pants and you start undressing too. The bath smells like fresh flowers and the soap is overflowing. You get in first, naked and vulnerable. He comes in after you as you lay in the tub with only your head and a peek of your shoulders above water. Toji lays back and pulls you closer to him so that you’re practically on his lap. He sinks his face in your neck and breaths in. “I don’t deserve this” he mumbles but you just his cheek.

“You’re my husband why wouldn’t you?”

“No I’m a killer but you treat me like I’m someone noble.”

You rest the back of your head on his shoulder and just relax as he encircles your waist. “You deserve me. You just don’t believe it. And I want you to.” You kiss his cheek gently as he caresses your thigh. You close your eyes letting the love and vulnerability surround you.

“I feel nauseous. I should meet with a healer.”

“I’ll be here to hold you.”

You soak in the bath tub for a while and get out to go meet with a healer. He comes to your house after a few hours and confirms your pregnancy. You feel different somehow. You decide it’s time to confirm what you already thought. You catch Toji in the library and decide it’s time. “I’m pregnant.” He doesn’t say anything for a second. “That’s what they wanted,” you add, voice cracking.

He finally speaks. “What do you want?”

You whisper: “For this to mean something.”

He looks at you for a long time. Then gets up — and kneels in front of you. One hand to your stomach, eyes unreadable. He runs his stomach over it and you look at him with tears in your eyes.

“Then I’ll protect it,” he says. “Both of you. I don’t care. I can’t hold back.”

“I never asked you to” you whimper as he says that.

It starts with a whisper. The moment the healers confirm your pregnancy, it spreads like wildfire. Gazes linger longer, and silence grows heavy with disdain. You feel it before they say a word. Toji’s not in the room when they tell you. “What does that mean?” you ask, already knowing.

“It means we’ve arranged for you to be kept under watch. Any emotional instability could threaten the child. You will be moved.”

“We’ll take it from here,” says one of the elders, an ancient voice wrapped in silk and cruelty. “You’ve fulfilled your purpose. Rest now. This phase is delicate.”

“And Toji?” Your heart falls in agony and despair.

A beat of silence. Then: “No longer necessary.”

The words make you cold. They said it so easily. Like he was never human. Like he was just a cursed tool.

You rise slowly, heart pounding. “You think you can use him and throw him away?”

“You’re pregnant. That is the only leverage he had.”

It’s almost laughable at how calm they are.

You storm out before they finish speaking.

You find him in the outer courtyard, he’s been summoned. He knows. There’s blood on his knuckles and he won’t look at you.

“They’re planning to send me away,” he says flatly. “Or kill me. Depends how useful they think I still am.”

“Toji—”

He turns sharply. “This is what happens when I let people get too close.”

You grab his wrist. “You are not a tool.”

He doesn’t move. “You think they won’t kill me the second they know they don’t need me?”

“They already know.”

Silence. Toji’s chest rises once, twice. Then stills.

“I told myself I didn’t care,” he says hoarsely. “I didn’t have a choice the Zenin’s forced me. Let them have what they want. But now—”

He looks down at your stomach. Not touching. Just looking. Just breathing.

“You changed the game.”

You storm back into the council chamber like a blade drawn from a sheath. Toji follows you, silent as a shadow. He doesn’t expect you to say anything.

You do.

“You will not touch him.”

The elders murmur. “You’re emotional. That’s expected in your state.”

“I’m not asking,” you snap. “He is the father of this child. If you try to do anything to him, you lose me.”

They fall quiet. One dares to speak: “Your loyalty lies with your clan.”

“I am your clan,” you say. “The last daughter. The only one that can keep you all from falling apart. If you harm him, I leave. I’ll burn this name to the ground before I let you raise our child as a prisoner.”

Toji watches you like you’ve torn the air in half. He’s never heard anyone defend him like this. Not once.

“You would choose him over us?”

“I would choose freedom. For me. For him. For this child.”

Later, alone in the cold quiet of your shared room, Toji sits beside you, one hand on your belly. The other resting on the hilt of his blade. He caresses up and down and his voice wavers when he speaks. He’s unsure.

“You stood up for me,” he murmurs. “You didn’t have to.”

“I did,” you say. “Because I won’t raise this child in a world where their father was treated like garbage.”

A long silence.

Then, finally, he leans into you—not violently, not out of hunger or desperation—but like a man finding shelter from a storm. “They’re not taking you from me, I can’t live without you” you whisper. “Not you. Not the baby. Not again.”

And in that moment, Toji finally believes you.

It’s quiet when you wake. Too quiet. You try to snuggle closer to Toji only to realize no one is there. No strong, warm, calloused arms are wrapping you in your embrace.

Then you hear the clash of steel from the courtyard.

You jump up suddenly rubbing sleep away from your eyes and run barefoot across cold stone halls, still in your nightclothes, with guards shouting after you. You don’t know what’s going on, but you need to find your husband. Your’e already outside, and the moment you see him, your heart shatters.

Toji is on his knees.

Blood stains his mouth, and you see a pained look on his face. The moment you see him you yell and scream his name, still not knowing what was going on. There are guards shooting at him from every angle, but he’s still fighting, weapons and swords all bloodied as he looks disheveled. But he’s still alive. “STOP!” your voice cracks the air like a curse. “TOJI! MY BABY LEAVE MY BABY ALONE!” You run to catch up to him. They stop mid-swing.

You step between them and Toji like your body could stop death. You have a raging murderous look in your eyes. “You touch him again and I swear you’ll never see that child. I’m fucking done.”

The clan members take a step back as you stare at them with such a murderous gaze. “Toji Fushiguro is a liability. Theres no purp-”

“And that purpose is mine now,” you snap. “You want an heir? You want a bloodline? Then remember who carries it. Don’t you dare lay a fucking finger on my husband. Know your place.” You seethe.

The silence is deafening as your hands tremble. You drop to your knees in front of Toji and cradle his face, blood warm on your fingers. You cradle his bloodied face in your soft palms, rocking back and forth. You let out a whimper as you try to rub his blood on your night clothes and hold his wounded forehead and neck in place as you whisper his name worriedly. “Toji. Fuck I’m so sorry baby. I’m so sorry please you’ll be okay. I hope it doesn’t hurt too much.” You kiss his cheek still on your knees holding his face looking like a crying toddler. He tries to speak, but you shake your head, tears already slipping down your cheeks.

“What did they do to you? I’ll kill them with my bare hands, they’re nothing without me,” you whisper. “You don’t have to be a weapon anymore.”

“I told you,” he rasps, “to run away. You should’ve run. I told you they’d never be satisfied. They don’t see you. They never did.””

“And leave you?” Your voice breaks. “Don’t you get it, Toji? I see you. I want you. Not because of the child. Not because of the clan. Just you.” You keep cradling his bloodied face sobbing lightly as you brushed back his hair with your fingers painted in his blood. You turn to the elders. “I’m done.”

They blink.

You rise to your full height, hands still shaking. “If he dies, I walk. If you so much as look at him again with a blade in your hand, I will disappear, and this clan dies with me. Toji is mine,” you finish. “And so is this child. We are not your weapons.”

That night, you and Toji leave. He can barely walk. You support him, arm slung around your shoulders, exhaustion bleeding through both your bodies. But you move, and you don’t look back. Before you go, you burn the heir scrolls. The records. The cursed tools they tried to buy him with. You leave them nothing but ash and a ghost of power they’ll never wield again. You leave behind your clans and decide to break away and start a new life. You both had money saved up from your sorcerer duties, and Toji’s assassinations. You both travel and get into a cab leaving behind the stupid clan and estate you both had your first conversation in, first intimate moments. It was all a bad omen. It caused so much hurt.

Weeks later, you’re sitting on the floor of a quiet, cabin in the mountainside. A baby kicks near you. Toji’s hand is the first to feel it. He looks stunned. Just… stunned. Like it’s magic. Like it’s not something he was ever supposed to deserve. You watch him fall silent and press his forehead to your belly. He breathes slowly, deeply, like it hurts. “You okay my baby?” You ask.

“This isn’t real,” he murmurs.

You lace your fingers with his. “It is now.”

The baby starts crying and you watch as he picks it up and wraps it in his arms, breathing in softly.

The air softer here up in the mountains. No clan leaders to bother you, judge you. No rules to follow. Occasionally sounds of birds chirping and the sound of dishes clanking and chores being done. You let Toji name your son. Megumi. The cute boy looked just like Toji in every way but Toji swore he had your eyes. You look out the window and see both of your boys playing outside, as usual. You walk outside and see Toji near the garden, leaning slightly on the nursery as Megumi goes to chase a butterfly. He doesn’t notice you until you brush your fingers along his back. “Hey” you say as you notice he’s holding the mug you made him. It’s sloppy and goofy but he insists on using it everyday. You wrap an arm around his bicep and you notice how good he looks with the light dashing down on him. His body with scars he never tells the story of, and he looks at you in a way you’ve never seen before.

“My beautiful wife” he mutters wrapping an arm around you and setting down the mug. “Missed you.”

“It’s been 15 minutes” you snort.

“15 minutes too long” he replies kissing your cheek gently and softly pecking your cheek with his kisses. He looks softer here. More relaxed. His hands aren’t bloodied and calloused and he looks loved. He’s softer even more now that Megumi is here, although the average person would completely disagree. You both lean your foreheads together as he whispers something. “You saved me.”

“We saved each other” you whisper back looking at him with longing.

“I never thought I deserved anything. I didn’t feel love. Or yearning. I never felt anything like that. Until I met you. I owe you my life. You saved me from myself and learned to love me.”

“Oh Toji.” You sigh as you take him in your arms and cradle his body. “You never have to feel like that again. I love you and that’s an unwavering truth.” You take out a long, thin piece of red ribbon. Nothing special, just a thin, long fabric and tie your pinkie fingers together loosely.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a thread,” you say softly. “It’s supposed to mean we’re tied together. Even if you leave. Even if the world pulls us apart. It’s invisible to everyone else—but it’s always there.” The trees rustle softly and you feel him kiss your pinkie finger gently.

“I’d burn the world down if anyone tried to cut it” he said in a gruff tone.

Invisible string theory brought to life.

Megumi plays not too far away and you stay in his arms and you just know he’ll be yours forever. Theres a string always connecting you.

The end.

since you guys asked to be tagged :)

@x0tw0d57 @layuhsblog @wo-ming-bai @withtanxp @shiroonii @edgyficuselastica @chilichopsticks

Let me know If there's any other series I should write! Also this was so ass I rushed I’m so so so sooooooooooo sorry definitely not my best work but I hope you guys liked some of it😭😭 please consider like or following if you enjoyed.

I love writing for toji so much oh my god I need more requests :) REMEBER it’s not proofread so tell me my typos please

[yougottabetheguy]

...yeah.

I spent months designing a remotely operated wind tunnel for my final project.

It's pretty cool. The uni has been making experiments controlled over the internet so that students don't have to come in to do them in person. When we're talking about measuring vibrations and damping, you really don't need to see it in person. But it's good to have physical data, so a happy medium was created. It really came in useful during Covid, so the uni is invested in keeping it going. (And you don't need to hire demonstrators)

But I overcooked it in terms of energy levels, doing regular coursework and the project, so now I'm facing exams that I have a few days to revise for while burnt out :/

I didn't attend most of my lectures in second semester. I was just so endlessly tired and in pain. That sort of sapped my morale a bit. But I did keep up with lectures as best I could, catching up every so often. But I can tell in my revision when I did keep on top of work and when I didn't. My orbital mechanics is piss easy, less so for turbo machinery (even though it's basically isentropic flow with corrective factors slapped in).

I wrote my project report (25 pages) in 8 days, sleeping 40h in that time, even spending 24h straight at my computer. I know it isn't good, I know it's not going to be very highly graded, but it's done.

Don't be me. I'm sure everything will work out in the end, but I'm just so tired and drained. It's not hard to keep on top of what's been taught in lectures that week. Then have the diligence to work on assignments weeks in advance.

By all accounts, I shouldn't even be at uni with Long Covid brain damage, never mind getting 60%, but I've made it this far, I can't give up now, even if it does cost grades and health. I couldn't have done anything more.

"procrastination won't work in college" ok so. yes it will. but it's a lot more dangerous. I always used to hear about how i won't be able to procrastinate when i get to uni, but really, you can just become an even more dangerous procrastinator. you don't have a weekly quiz and graded homework to keep you on track. if i decide to not go to intro to quantum for a month because 12pm is too early for me to make it to class and i'd rather eat breakfast, then i can just not, and I can cram the whole thing the night before the final. This does work. I have not done badly on any exams this year despite being a severe procrastinator, and my GPA this year is like a 3.97. However. This does come at the cost of your sanity and health. I cannot recommend this strategy. You should learn to not procrastinate, but you cannot proceed with the mindset that eventually you'll run out of ability to procrastinate and you'll be forced to actually do things on time. You can always procrastinate. You just end up sacrificing your health.

[wordy-little-witch]

NovaFrost and Sun NovaFrost and Sun NovaFrost and Sun-

They have me by a chokehold and I'm EXPLODING AAAAA- [incorrect quotes yet again]

Nova : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Frost: That's great, Nova . Especially considering the fact we've been together for over forty years.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: How do you know how to kiss? Like who teaches you?

Nova : Well it’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.

Frost : Would you like us to tutor you?

Moon: That was smooth but also *gagging noise*

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Solar: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed the car?

Sun: Well I was teaching Nova to drive and there was a deer in the road, so I said "Nova , deer!"

Solar: ...And what did Nova do?

Sun: ...They said "Yes, sunshine?"

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Nova : I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Sun: What- how?

Nova : You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.

Nova : I would say infinitesimally.

Frost: And I'd say teenily-weenily.

Nova, proudly: We all know words.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: Did it hurt when you fell-

Nova : From heaven? Wowie, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Sun: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs.

Nova : ...

Sun: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Frost: We wrote you a poem.

Sun, already crying: You did?

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*the 80s gang playing truth or dare*

Chichi: Ooh, Nova~ Dare you to kiss the next person who comes in here~

Nova: oh, golly- I'm not so sure I could, you know? Besides, it's just a game, really-

Sun, walking in: Hey guys-

Nova: Well, looks like I have to, rules are rules for a reason, can't go breakin' 'em-!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Frost: I would never say that my partners are bitches and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partners are bitches and I like them so much! :)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Nova : I have met some of the most insufferable people. But they also met me~ heehee~

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

Nova+Frost: *anxious boyfriend noises*

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

*in the mindscape*

Nova , gently nudging Frost aside with their foot: Frosty, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.

Frost, their eyes enormous: You kick Frost? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Nova ! Jail for Nova for one thousand years!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Frost: Here you go, Sun, a nice hot cup of coffee!

Sun: It's cold.

Frost: A nice cup of coffee.

Sun: It's horrible!

Frost: Cup of coffee.

Sun: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee.

Frost: C U P.

Sun: I appreciate the sentiment, though.

Frost: :3

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Nova: I know. Whenever we're near the person we like we both just start acting weird.

Sun: But you’re always acting weird?

Nova, suddenly changing out with Frost: ...

Frost: ... Yeah, don’t think about that too hard.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Nova : Eat a nickel.

Sun, snorting but trying to hold a straight face: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.

Frost: Eat a nickel.

Sun, wheezing: O-Ok-

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Nova : What's wrong with you?

Sun: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a systemic history of abuse, and a programmed predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Nova: 😰

Sun: wait no-

Nova, already hugging him: TOO LATE

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Sun: You spent all your paycheck on THIS??

Frost, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

[saltyyuuri]

How would valorant agents react to:

"There was a .... Minor mishap in the mission ..."

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Brimstone: immediately stressed, texting back multiple times. He would be pacing and calling multiple times.

Once back, you show him Reyna , who is absolutely furious since she somehow got a whole bucket of paint spilled on to her from the janitor's closet they were hiding in.

Phoenix: "what?? What???!" immediately pacing, impatiently waiting for your return

Once back, you gave him back the gun you borrowed from him, now scuffed and scratched. He was just mostly relieved you were fine, not giving two craps that his favorite gun was fucked.

Sage: "where are you?"

Unphazed, already prepared to heal and or resurrect if necessary.

Sova: "And were you following the team? 🤨"

You were not. You decided to ego peak and got hit. Sighs of dissapointelment and just pushing you to med bay

Viper: "not my problem."

She was pretty busy anyways with paperwork and lab work- Sage could take care of it for all she cared.

Cypher: "I know. I saw it."

He watched the entire thing go down on the cameras; and he most definitely saved the video to get a good laugh.

Reyna: "unsurprising."

Despite her annoyance she would still go give a hand if necessary. But you do get scolded pretty bad.

Killjoy: "Shiza, did my bot do something wrong?!"

It did. One of the Bot's malfunctioned and quite literally tore through half the clothing you were wearing. The mishap was more of a wardrobe issue at this point.

Breach: "if you're in jail that's not my problem."

You weren't, but Yoru was. He got sidetracked and went to beat up a civilian for God knows what reason, and of course he ended up in a local jail. Breach just laughed even harder.

Omen: "..."

No answer, but not even a second later he's already teleported directly beside you. The man goes on a whole rampage, then casually escorts you back.

Jett: "wrong person, I told you to tell brimstone!"

She was the reason there was a mishap.

Raze: "good or bad? Cuz if it's good I want in!"

The moment you were back, completely scuffed but holding random scraps from various bots or mechanical stuff for her, her main concern was getting the 'loot'. And then after that she brings you too medbay.

Skye: "🤨 what happened?"

When you dragged back an injured Jett, skye just sighs and reluctantly starts healing. Just a very disappointed look on her face.

Yoru: "don't care."

Yeaaah he really didn't give a shit. But since he decided to be an asshat, you kept the knife you found during the mission, one he didn't have for his collection. Pissed him off even more.

Astra: "oh no, is everyone alright?"

You came back, phoenix was completely drenched since Harbor mistook him for an enemy and nearly drowned Phoenix- and harbor had a massive head wound that looked like it was burnt. Astra was busy laughing so hard and it took some time before a healer came by.

Kay/o: "👍"

That was about it.

Chamber: "If you tell me you broke your custom gun, I'm not making you a new one, chérie."

Even worse, you accidentally took his gun, not yours. The outcome ended you in medbay with Sage having to heal you from a near death.

Neon: "OH GOD WHERE ARE YOU IM COMING I'M COMIIING"

She nearly electrocuted her own teammates on her way there, narrowly avoided hitting you but generally got the sticky situation handled with panic and too much energy.

Fade: "awe :( I will bring nightmare to cheer you up."

While you were in recovery she brought over the little black cat named nightmare to keep you company.

Harbor: "I told you: you should have learned how to swim 😑"

You nearly drowned, on a mission on Lotus you accidentally fell into the lake behind attackers side, barely getting fished out by another teammate.

Gekko: "ARE YOU OKAY?!"

He had all four of his critters running behind him with various things, wingman bringing a boba, thrash had a neatly folded blanket on her back, dizzy had a small plushy and mosh had a single dinosaur bandaid. Gekko brought the snacks for the recovery.

Deadlock: "Are you okay? Are all your limbs intact?"

She was relieved to see the mishap was that a narrowly avoided knife to the head had just sliced your hir very crookedly. She tries her best to make a decent haircut afterwards- definitely not the best but already much better than just having half a chunk gone.

Iso: "who do I have to kill?"

No one, you simply had gotten a copious amount of enemy blood on his white hoodie- which he didn't bat an eye at. He already had all the stuff to get the stains out, fault of wearing white hoodies.

Clove: *was the mishap

She "died", and then scared one of her own teammates shitless when she jumped back up to life, just casually springing back up as if nothing happened. Due to the jump scare, the teammate misfired and hit her again. One hell of a chaotic scene.

Vyse: "Good job."

That was very sarcastic; and honestly she didn't care all that much. But you did find a metal rose on your desk in your room.

Tejo: "And what did I say about rushing in?"

You got a lot of scolding from his part, though it did come from a good place as he was just mostly worried.

Waylay: "Good! Stupid should hurt!"

Of course she would initially just repeat that, but nevertheless she was there to help you through the recovery, not making much more comments about it.

[artsninspo]

Penname: Delta Wise -IV- [Sinners]

⇠ previous part

「 ✦ mbj's charcter archive✦ 」

「 ✦ full library & archive ✦ 」

summary: This chapter picks up where the last left off, there are a few easter-eggs for the next few chapters, some tea is spilled and our main characters try to find their footing as they try figure out how to proceed.

word-count: 4.4K

FOUR

Knotty

Sleeping among strange energies is something I’ve never been able to do and yet it’s something I’ve managed in the most tense of circumstances. Facing your fears can do that to you I guess, draining your batteries down to the bone and leaving no room for anything else. I wake up to Eli nudging me. His brown eyes are serious as is the set of his jaw. It takes a moment for the tension within me to subside as I register that I'm in my car and I’m safe. There’s a blanket fashioned into a pillow holding my head that I don't remember putting there as I sit up.

“It’s me,” he says slowly, like I could mistake him for his brother. But what is unmistakable is that unlike me the night's revelations have rejuvenated him. I hear waves crashing on the sand and sit upright. He drove all the way to the beach house by himself. I reach in the glovebox and press the garage door opener; it opens and Eli reverses the car. Once the garage door closes the sensor lights turn on and we’re safe from the darkness of night. I can't believe I fell asleep. I can see Eli has a million and one questions but there’s one that takes precedence. He needs to know I'm okay.

“I’m okay” I tell him and he nods, taking his eyes off me and unbuckling his seatbelt. I turn to find Carmen snoring softly in the backseat. 

“Carmen” I reach tapping her and she wakes up slowly looking like a showgirl still in her performance outfit.. 

“Where are we?” she yawns.

“My summer house - on the water” I tell her and she nods while sitting up. I exit first and Eli helps Carmen out the car. I put the code in the door and enter the home through the garage.

“It looks just like granny’s place,” Carmen says looking around.

“Ma said a shrine was unproductive so when I got my advance I hired a decorator and had them stage the place with Granny’s things - just more modern and beachy” I explain plopping on the couch.

“I need to get out of this, are there clothes here?” Carmen asks and I nod.

“I have some things, Eli, what size are you?” I ask turning to him.

“XL” Carmen says.

“XL” He affirms.

“You know your stuff” I tell her.

“Stack wears an XL. I just want to say it now so it’s on the table. Stack and I have fooled around before. He never bit me ever and I think I may be why he’s after you Knotty. Two months ago I invited him in - I know I fucked up and I was sleuthing Delta Wise and the book was on my coffee table, he asked about it. I told him it was good, he said he never heard of it and I let him take my copy.” Carmen says and I swallow hard, glaring at her.

“You invited him in?”

“Yes” she says, looking terrified.

“I hope you have nothing with your parents address and your devices are locked. If not, no shower, you have to make sure everything is okay.” I tell her.

“Knotty, he never bit me. Aside from being a hoe he was decent when I would go to the club to dance for some extra money. Stack is … was cool, with the exception of ole’ girl he doesn't play around with them folks coming around and causing trouble. I’ve never seen him in a bad mood until yesterday. Never seen him touch a woman that didn't want to be touched by him until yesterday.” Carmen says. I want to judge her but until recently I too had my fair share of secrets.

“Carmen we’re no longer dealing with the same Stack, if there’s a chance he can turn Smoke then he’ll do whatever to succeed at that goal” I explain and find Eli looking at the legend I sent him on the caride here. My naming chart - the one I used that has the real names of the real people from Granny’s stories and the names that made it into the book.

“I'll call my parents and hope they listen” she says and I head upstairs and find all three of us something to wear. I’m thankful for my oversized era when I find a graphic tee and cotton pj pants that should fit Eli. He looks up at my return as I hand him the clothes, towels, soap and a toothbrush.

“She’s something” he says motioning upstairs to Carmen and I smile.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Fine” he nods without missing a beat. “I don't remember any of this shit though. If I didn't see him and feel it I wouldn't believe it” Eli says matter of factly. “It also explains why you haven't been yourself”

“You don’t know the adult me” I tell Eli.

“People don’t change.” He says pointing to his phone with the book names. 

“Apothecary check, author check, Atlantis?” He says to lighten the mood and it makes me smile.

“I’m done - I have plenty more than I can handle” I confess.

“So what am I and what do we do?” he says. Unlike my mother he trusts me.

“I can't be sure, I have everything from oral traditions as you know ‘witches’ have been persecuted historically. Granny said twins were a force of nature - womb to the tomb. You’ve been reincarnated because Stack hasn’t found rest, your soul got restless. I can't be sure but I suspect Annies Mojo bag for you has something to do with it.” I explain and he's back looking at his phone finding Annie's book character name. 

“Smokes wife” he says, still dissociating from reality.

“Your wife” I correct and he swallows. “Hold your shirt up” I tell him and he does. I point to his birthmark on his lower abdomen. “They say birthmarks, moles and beauty marks are totems of our past lives and spiritual gifts. Same place Sammie said Smoke's fatal shot was. Same place you have a birthmark” I explain and he looks at the area before letting the shirt fall. His brows bunch as he tries to make sense and process what I’m telling him. “How did it feel seeing Stack?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“It felt..” Eli pauses in reflection. “Like … Like I was locked in - like I could take anything. Like I was grounded, like nothing was missing” he says. “Then I saw a man's skin bubbling under the sunlight and I remembered he was about to hurt y’all” Eli says.

“You don't have to worry about me and Stack. If he bites me I go peacefully and don’t wake up and at the very least he’ll be very sick. My soul will in tact” I tell Eli, making a mental note to start brewing a tea.

“I don't think that’s the relief you think it is Knotty” Eli says in a tone that's scolding. 

“I’m already sensitive to the seasons before daylight savings. I wouldn’t last an eternity of nights” I speak frankly. “OG Smoke didn’t want that for himself either” I explain only to startle at the sound of running. Carmen emerges holding out her phone in PJ’s. Stacks name is across the caller ID. I freeze and she does too until Eli takes the phone answering the call and placing the phone on speaker on the coffee table.

“Carmen, I need to talk to Delta” Stacks voice says.

“Speaking” I say as my heart races.

“Who did you have with you?” he asks and I frown looking at Carmen and Eli as I sit forward.

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t play with me - I swear fo’ God I got all the time in the world to make you wish you were dead” he snaps. “I know there was a man but he isn’t showing up on surveillance” Stack says and I look at Eli. I take my phone and snap a photo of him. He’s there clear as day.

“I’m not sure what you're asking me” I swallow. 

“It was Smoke, Stack, I saw him.” I hear Mary say in the background.

“Was it my brother?” Stack asks, his voice cracking ever so slightly. 

“No” I lie.

“Then who was it? Sammie have a son I don’t know about? It was a Moore man” Stack says.

“It was Smoke” Mary repeats. “I don’t know why you couldn't see him, you were starin’ right at him” she continues in the background.

“What do you want with me?” I ask.

“Your stories to remember, I was gonna help you with another bestseller but since I think you’re lying to me. I’m on your ass” he says and the line goes dead.

_____

Pearl (Knotty’s Mom)

When I get the call from Knotty I’m at wits end. It was endearing in childhood but now it’s worrying. She's beautiful and smart and rather live in the past with superstitions than the present. I had patience for Ma because after years of therapy myself and the therapist decided it was easier for Mom to believe that her mother was taken supernaturally than the equally horrifying reality. It was the deep south in the 1930’s. It was more likely the klan wiped out the entire juke joint that night and that man that came telling tales of vampires was just a boy who’d also been traumatized. The mind is a fascinating place that will do all it can to survive. I don’t blame Mama. She was only five when she heard the story for the first time and her little mind held onto it. Then she spent much of her life searching for answers. So much so that it ruined her marriage to my father and now it has Knotty spinning out of control. It happens every year around this time when Ma’s death anniversary comes around and then the dreaded October 15th. 

“How is Knotty affording this boat?” Jason asks.

“I don’t know - maybe Ma left her a trust we don’t know about”

“She was fifteen and your mom didn’t have much - she was always giving everything away” Jason says looking around the nice bedroom. “I just hope I don’t have to pay for it,” he comments.

“Knotty hasn't asked for money in years” I remind him.

“Doesn’t mean I dont send her a bi-weekly allowance. She’s never been good with money” He says and I nod.

“I’m worried about her”

“I warned you and your mother not to indulge her. Eventually she’d have to grow up and now she’s grown and single, reclusive and taking up with the least respectable of her family members” He sighs.

“So I’m to blame?”

“That’s not what I’m saying babe. We’re not gonna be alive forever and what’s Knotty gonna do when we’re gone huh? She’s not equipped to deal with real life” he says.

“I don’t want to argue about Knotty, we can once she’s doing well”

“And if this episode lasts longer then we try things my way”

“Jason, I don’t know if you realized but we’re not a part of her world anymore. She does things for us. She never invites or includes us to whatever she has going on. Unless your way means reaching in - we’re not trying it. God gave us one and I won’t be excommunicated by her” I snap defending our girl. Jason’s jaw clenches out of frustration.

“I’m gonna go talk to the guys,” he says leaving the room. I call Knotty and it goes to voicemail, so I text her that everyones on the boat is safe and ten minutes later the message is hearted. I know why we’re on a boat even if everyone else doesn’t. Lore says vampires can't cross bodies of water. This boat has been checked for coffins and dirt before we boarded I’m sure of it. It lets me know in spite of our differences Knotty still loves us and so I won't quit on her.

Signing deeply my hand hovers over the contact of someone I’ve only called twice in the over three decades I've known her. Letting out a frustrated sigh I look out onto the water from the small window and call Merin.

_______

Eli ‘Smoke’ Moore

Only thing that’s clear to me is Hoodoo has left me with more questions than answers. I make breakfast for the girls needing to do something with my hands to stop the snaking. Knotty’s out on the beach porch watching the waves and taking calls when Carmen emerges from outside.

“How is she?” I ask Carmen.

“Knotty’s tougher than she looks and granny was tougher. No disrespect to your wife but a mother’s love is different to anything you could feel for a partner. Trust nothing unfortunate is happening to her. Granny probably has every angel suited up for her.” Carmen says and there’s no jealousy in her.

“Not you?” 

“Me too clearly if Stack didn't take a chunk out of my throat. But she loved me because I was her granddaughter, not because I was her favorite. Anyone with eyes could see what she and Knotty had was special.” Carmen explains. “You’re lucky Knotty’s picky ass likes you. She’s very precious about her space and energy. She doesn’t let half of our family touch her for greetings. No handshakes or hugs without wearing special jewelry. You might be reincarnated but just know you’re lucky to be this close to Knotty” she warns. I don’t let onto it, but I like her how down she is for Knotty.

“You and Stack?” I ask.

“Are done, it takes freaky to a new level” she says. “I wonder though? Are identical twins identical in every way” she asks, pointing at my pants. I hear a chuckle.

“Don’t mind her Eli, all she thinks about is sex” Knotty smiles coming in and closing the door behind her. “Get it out of your system Merin will be here in 45 minutes and I convinced the family to charter a boat. Everyone we love will be safe and on the water sailing before sunset” Knotty smiles.

“Shit all that this morning?” Carmen asks.

“Oh no,  there was more. Surprise, surprise my store was vandalised last night. Glass, herbs, water and oil everywhere. Everything on the shop floor is no longer salvageable.” Knotty says, putting her phone down in exasperation. 

“Fuck Knotty, I’m sorry whats the damage?” 

“I don't know yet but I know if I were to head home to the precinct or to the store Stack would be on me so I found a lawyer.” she smiles, shaking her head.

“What’s funny?” Carmen asks.

“I mean it’s so Stack Moore I should have seen it coming. Makes me trust Sammie’s words all the more” Knotty shrugs. “That’s good for us, but we need to be careful. He’ll go for our loved one’s like he went for Annie” she says, pointing between us. Carmen nods and the silence is heavy. Instead of fanning the flames of their worry I try to diffuse the situation.

“I’m finished with breakfast” I tell them and Carmen comes into the kitchen first.

“You must like thick women or is that all for you?” She asks, making Knotty laugh. 

I’m complimented for my culinary skills and the girls clean up, letting me make a few calls to situate my own affairs before I return to the living room to study what seems to be my history some more. Merin or Mama Meringue comes through around lunchtime with groceries and guidance. She’s one of those Erykah Badu types you can see and feel she’s different when she enters the room, her voice is something too. She handed Knotty a laptop and she’s been outside ever since with headphones on. “She’ll be fine” Merin says and when I look over Merin’s watching me as she chops up greens.

“Carmen said the same thing” I sigh standing and putting the hardcopy of club juke down.

“Carmen’s right,” Merin smiles.

“Any theories as to why she’s in the middle of all this then?” I ask and Merin smiles, putting her attention back on the feast she’s making.

“A few” she nods and I swallow waiting for her to open up. “You don’t need to worry about Knotty you need to decide on you”

“Kill my brother, become a vampire, die and be reborn” I list my options.

“You killed your father, killing your brother would taint your soul beyond reproach. It couldn’t be done at your hands.” she says.

“Y’all keep talking to me about shit I don't remember” I snap and she walks over to the cabinets and plucks an incense stick from a tin. She lights it and the smell gives me a deja-vu just for a split second of a woman holding a child.

“There’s a way to save Stack and Smoke” Knotty says coming in. I look at Merin who seems like she knew that already. “We need to research the planetary alignment of the night of October 15th 1931 and wait for a day with similar conditions. Mary has to be willing to die. Blood of a lover must be spilled because Mary’s who turned Stack should end their connection and eliminate the love spell.”

“How do we convince her to do that?” Merin asks.

“She already has a lifetime of him,” Knotty shrugs. “If Stack misses Smoke like he says it's an option - a chance at mortality and then Smoke only has to finish this life” Knotty says, placing her laptop on the counter to show pictures of writing in an old book.

“That wouldn't be enough. I’m sure Stack has accumulated enemies. He would be a liability” Merin says and Knotty sighs. “I’ll keep searching,” she says, heading back outside.

“Why don’t you tell her you already have the answers?” I ask Merin and she pauses. “Only time someone is as calm as you are in a crisis they’re a double agent or sure about what's gonna go down. I know you love Knotty so why not tell her you know what to do?” I ask Merin.

“I guess Sammie never noticed how perceptive you are,” she says, avoiding an answer. “Her mind never stops and if she was free Knotty would inhibit progress” Merin says. “Like searching for pearls in gator filled waters as a means to help,” Merin says, washing her hands. I look outside and nod in understanding.

“We had no idea who you were Eli, none but we should have known Knotty only liked old souls at that age” she smiles and I nod heading outside. Knotty’s texting and I light a cigarette giving her some space.

“You lasted a long time in there. Merin usually makes people uncomfortable in under ten minutes. You were there with her for two hours” she says.

“Were you timing me?” I ask

“Maybe” Knotty smiles. “She likes you,” she says, turning to Merin inside the house.

“How do you know that?”

“She’s cooking for us. Merin has her tells before anything important a lot of priestesses practice their preparation art. Attention to detail, intention focus” Knotty lists.

“So you practice?”

“No, Granny and Merin said it’s not for me. I know things but I leave it to them” she shrugs. “Wanna walk the beach? I’m gonna go cross eyed if I keep reading old journals” she says and I nod. She takes her shoes off knotting her skirt to shorten it and skips down the steps. It’s the Knotty I knew. “Can’t imagine loving a man enough to condemn my soul for a love spell and still get cheated on” she says talking about Mary and Stack. “Can you?” she asks.

“I don't believe in love spells and Merin says my soul is corrupted already” I tell Knotty who stops smiling. She takes a deep breath looking up at me.

“If that was totally true Stack would have seen you” she says wistfully.

“So why can he see you?” I ask her knowing her soul is nowhere near mine.

“Why are men so hard to convince of the truth?” she asks.

“Here we go” I mutter but she doesnt start, she stops looking out at the water.

“If I never went searching for clams we wouldn't be here. Only reason I was searching for clams in Mississippi in the first place is because Granny wanted to find information about who? Her mama Pearline. Who died outside of your juke joint in the morning of October 16th 1931. I don’t know how you can not believe in that” she says and I find myself smiling at her faith. 

“Knotty one, Eli nil” I mutter and she chuckles. Still looking out at the water.

“What are you thinking about now?” I ask.

“Atlantis” she winks. “And pearls” She says before taking off into the crashing waves while fully clothed. She turns to face me smiling just as a wave hits her. She goes under holding a hand up and then flailing. Fucking hell Knotty. I think kicking off my shoes and going in for her. When I get to her she laughs splashing me. A wave hits us and it’s so light I know she was acting. I hit the water splashing her back and she laughs some more floating on her back in the cold water.

“You're crazy” I inform her getting out.

“Don't be mad Eli, I was just keeping your soul light.” she laughs coming in after me. It’s like she hasn't aged a day. It’s the Knotty I expected. She adjusts her clothes, ringing out her hair and I shake my head at her.

“Soul light by giving me a heart attack?” I ask and she mocks me.

“I really should have known you’re a grandpa” she says.

“Should've known you were up to no good when you didnt keep your shoes on” I say, picking up mine. She winks at me accepting her charges. 

“Just like you ran in for me, I’m gonna do all I can for you and Merin’s on board and she has contacts so we’ll be okay. Be positive - negativity feeds on fear. That’s why Stack nearly got me. If I’d just have faced him-”

“Vampires are liars, I read as much” I interrupt her from taking blame. “If the book is true it’s my fault for not killing him” I ad.

“You couldn’t do it without both of you going together” Knotty says and when we get back to the house Merin’s at the back door with Carmen.

“I won't even ask, I just hope you have a dryer for your locs” Carmen says as Knotty wrings out her clothes on the back deck.

“Go shower before you catch a cold,” Merin scolds.

“Okay, I gave the water an offering we’re gonna be alright” Knotty smiles before sloping a trail of water upstairs. Merin gets a mop shaking her head.

“I’ll bring you a towel, go take a shower in the bathroom on this floor” she tells me and it's my turn to make a mess. I don't remember the last time someone just mopped up a mess without scolding or a tirade or making me clean up after myself. Being carefree is a strange feeling, maybe that’s what made me like Knotty in the first place as kids. The adults around her never had harsh tones, punishment for wrongdoings were measured and not hot blooded and overly passionate. Her people fed all the kids in the area just because instead of going on and on about the extra mouths to feed. I was treated like one of them just like I am now. Once I wash off Merin has a plate waiting for me.

______

Knotty

It’s nearly midnight when I find Eli smoking in the garage. He’s been at it for at least an hour and I know it’s Merin’s doing. Granny always called her a kitchen witch. He kills the smoke when he sees me, always the protector.

“Are you still upset about the beach?” I ask and he raises a brow.

“What do you think?” He asks and I hold up a perfectly wrapped blunt.

“Peace offering?” I ask and he looks at the door suspiciously like Merin will come out and scold me in my own house.

“You smoke?” he asks.

“Everyone thinks I’m such an angel and … I am” I tell him, lighting mine. He holds out a hand as I inhale and I light his before inhaling. He takes a drag, impressed by the cannabis’ quality and I smile. “I hope you don't change too much when Merin’s done her work to save you and Stack.”

“You think I will?” Eli asks.

“Well Sammie said you were a hardass that no one played with. I can require a lot of patience - if you have none. I guess it's goodbye in a few weeks” I shrug considering the reality for the first time. I take another drag and so does Eli. “What if you only remember everything that happened before that night in the thirties and I’m a stranger and you have to adjust to technology and the new world?” I propose thinking out loud.

“Even weed can't slow you down” he mutters and I chuckle sitting on the steps that lead back inside the house. “Fine, I’ll shut up” I concede smoking in silence.  Eli does the same, getting his down to a roach in no time. I let him finish mine and he thanks me with a nod, taking a drag as he goes back to his spot standing away from me. I wonder what he’s thinking but I give him the reprieve of not asking.

“I don't think I’ll forget Knotty James,” he says, breaking the silence. “I mean we met in Mississippi because her Granny was trying to find out information on her ma Pearline who died outside my juke at sunrise, and Knotty was searching for pearls in the river” he says back to me using my same logic. I know he hates it but I can't help myself and I give him a hug. He hugs back, chuckling at me.

“Don’t change,” he says, holding me tight.

____

Author's Note: Thank you all for getting to the credits of this chapter! Hope you enjoyed this new update and the personalities of the characters as they prepare for whats to come.

What did we think of this chapter?

Raise your hand in the comments if you kind've foresaw the Carmen and Stack connection? if it shocked you let me know?

Don't we love Knotty's Mom and dad ? 😜

Are we surprised Stack trashed the apocethary?

Do we think Eli will forget Knotty if all goes as planned?

Do we think Mary will be down for the plan? Or is she gonna go against the grain? Does she need more time with her man?

Sound off in the comments. Don't forget to reblog, comment, tag and leave a like.

Side note: I am not a practitioner and respect closed practices, so I do not dabble or google. Most of the ideas in the chapter come from things i've seen, heard etc. With the exception of some herbal medicine which I may google. So if something is wrong or offensive to anyone who does practice please know that was not my intent. My intent is to respect that that I am an outsider.

______

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[hrrtshape]

I don't know if this is going to be a question because I don't know how to phrase it, but I'll tell you what I've been going through and I'd like some advice. First of all, I want you to know that I love your posts and the way you write them. It's clear you do it with love. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences and thoughts. <3 I'm sorry if something isn't completely clear; I don't speak much English and I use a translator.

I've been changing my mindset for some time now, and it's been working quite well for me. I know that even if I'm having a bad time or have intrusive thoughts, they're not an obstacle to changing my reality. What happens to me is that I have the intention of doing it (shifting) and I don't get beyond lucid dreams and astral travel. Normally, when I'm very tired, I have astral trips or lucid dreams. This morning I did your method, not the method, and I started to feel a buzzing and pressure. Afterward, I felt very strong vibrations, as if I were being electrocuted (this is normal when I have astral trips).

This is when I start affirming and visualizing that I'm in my doctor. I begin to see white and I usually see shapes like sacred geometry. I often hear voices in my house, and those of my family too. It's as if I were awake, but in another reality where I'm having an astral journey. I say this because I heard my dad's voice and the door opening and closing as if I had just gotten home from work. I used those voices and sounds as if they were my doctor's (because my dr is like my CR but better). The thing is, my dad was never in my house because he gets off work at 3:00 pm, and it was 2:30 pm when I woke up. I don't know how to explain what's happening to me, honestly. After all that, I started dreaming, and they are very vivid dreams, but that's as far as it goes. When I woke up, I felt so depersonalized. I'm not saying I didn't feel like myself, but it feels like you've arrived from a very distant journey, and I just feel very strange, and my surroundings too. In the process of visualizing my dream through astral travel, I see it for real, but as if it were all a dream. The truth is, I'm a little tired of this always happening to me. I don't want to astral travel; I want to change reality. Do you have any advice for me? I've also tried to do it through lucid dreams, but I feel like reality stretches and won't let me out.

stop reacting like you're trying to see your dr and start assuming you're already there. no more waiting room energy. no more visualising it like it’s a fantasy. start affirming: "i'm in. this is it. i'm already there. i'm remembering it now." use the vibrations as proof. use the weirdness as confirmation. and then ignore it. literally roll over and sleep. treat it like background noise. shift through it, not into it.

also stop over-validating 3d events. they're irrelevant. your dr isn't being withheld, it's just already assumed. so go in with that. you're not waiting for the final boss battle. you're already in the post-credits scene. keep going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sophaeros]

the strokes for rockin'on buzz, october 2006 / fuji rock, naeba

The band and the crowd have a symbiotic relationship. If the crowd isn't having fun, it's hard for us to smile.

The Strokes lit up the field at their first Fuji Rock festival! Fab shares his enthusiasm for the show

The Strokes are known for rarely giving interviews during their tours, but this time we managed to catch up with Fab just before they arrived at Naeba! We were able to talk to them mainly about their live performance. They delivered a fantastic performance on the big stage at Fuji, with playability, energy, and passion, which is no exaggeration to say is the best performance ever for a band. As the following comment states, that glorious glow was a truly precious "light" born from the solid bond between the band's strength, their mental fulfillment, and the hearts of the audience. If any one of these elements had been missing, that positive uplifting would not have been possible. Of course, they will continue to improve their skills as a band and continue to perform excellently. It is certain that the number of audiences attending will increase, and they will create a larger-scale live experience. With that in mind, the Fuji Rock performance is just one page in the ongoing history of The Strokes, but I think the Japanese fans were very happy to share the one and only time on July 30, 2006, and to witness a document that condensed everything they had learned and accumulated in the five years leading up to First Impressions of Earth. That night's live performance will surely become a "foundation" or reference point for them as well. I hope you look forward to the new Strokes story that begins from here.

●Yesterday at Fuji it was raining and the conditions were bad, but the audience was fired up. And today will be the Strokes' first appearance at Fuji Rock. Please tell us your aspirations for the headline at 8:20pm on Sunday.

"First time, and as a headliner...that's crazy. You're making me so nervous."

●No no, that’s not what I meant. (laughs).

"Yeah, it's fine really (laughs). I'm really looking forward to it. To be honest, we've performed at quite a few festivals before and have a lot of experience, so I think performing at Fuji Rock came at the perfect time. We've practiced hard, the band is in great shape, and on top of that, we're incredibly happy to be here now. Actually, before coming to Japan, we were in Korea. And, of course, Korea was amazing too, but a lot of things were brand new for us. So... I never thought I'd say this, but I'm happy to be back in a place that's so familiar to me (laughs). It's so much fun to be back in Japan and go to restaurants that I know."

●And what are your goals for tonight?

"We just have to do it our way. I don't know what else to do. But we're determined to give it our all."

●The Strokes' live performance at Summer Sonic three years ago was truly amazing, but how do you think you have grown as a live band since that summer three years ago?

"I don't know, but it feels like a really long time has passed since then. Of course, that's just how I feel now, and when I'm 60 or so years old and look back, I'll probably think it all went by in the blink of an eye, but for me at this point, it really does feel like a long time has passed. I think all of the band members have evolved as musicians, and the record we made recently was a huge challenge in terms of arranging, playing, and how we function as a band. So I think all of that development we've made as a band is reflected in our live performances. We're tighter as a band than before, and our focus is more concentrated. But at the same time, we still have the same energy we had back then, that we've always had."

●Since the release of "First Impressions of Earth," you've been on the road for almost half a year now. Have you become able to perform the songs 100% in a live setting?

"I think that the songs on that album really show their true potential in a live performance. The way we recorded the songs on this album was quite different from the previous two. The way we created the sound, too... For example, when we play the songs on "Is This It" or "Room on Fire" live, even though we try to play them exactly as they were recorded, the sound ends up being richer.

“In other words, with the previous two albums, the live performance and the record were completely different creatures. But with this album, we really thought about how we would play it live during the recording stage, so sonically the record and the live performance are very close. We've managed to get the record a little closer to the live sound of this band... Also, I think that in a live performance, our movements and the element of actually playing on the spot are added."

●Which songs from 'First Impressions' have changed/grown more than they did when you recorded them by playing them on tour, or songs that you discover something new about while playing them?

"Well, maybe there aren't many of those... We're more focused on making the songs we've completed during the recording stage sound as accurate as possible. At least, we try to do that, and it's something we take pride in. Because, in the shows I've seen, there are very few songs that I'm happy to have turned out differently from the records.

“Pearl Jam, especially Eddie Vedder, are one of those few bands because he does really cool things with that voice, but most of the time I think, "Oh, I wish he'd sang it the way I know it, just like on the record."... Don't you think there are times like that? So, how can I put it... I think there are definitely some aspects of a live performance that are really strange, like the vibe, the intensity of the songs, that are hard to convey on a record.. When you actually play on stage, I think it feels like those parts start to breathe in the song."

●By the way, which song do you feel that particularly?

"For example, 'Vision of Division' has a crazy solo by Albert. At first, I was really nervous about playing this song live... because it's a song that requires a lot of unity as a band. But with each performance, I gradually got more comfortable with it and started to have fun. So now I feel like I've grasped the core of what this song is all about, and it feels like everything is growing from that one point."

●Do you actually get that feeling in real time on stage?

"First of all, when I start playing, it's like I'm armed and ready for battle. Then, as I slowly approach my target, the moment I'm about to take it down is incredibly intense, and when it's over, it's like I've taken a deep breath of fresh air and exhaled, 'Ahhhhhh!' I hope that the audience will feel that same way, even if unconsciously, and experience it with me."

●I see. By the way, do you change the song selection for each tour? When I saw the first concert, I got the impression that there were very few songs from the second album (only two).

"Yeah, we didn't play much from that album. I think it was just one song... I'm not sure. Oh, maybe two songs after all."

●Will it be the same for this tour?

"It depends on the time and the situation."

●What do you mean?

"Basically, we like to play the same set list over and over again. This may be a personal opinion, but we think of the show as one package, including the gaps. In other words, the time when we're not playing a song is important, and the transitions between songs, such as whether we finish one song and then immediately start the next, make the show more interesting. On the other hand, there are times when it's better to have a little pause, especially when we're suddenly jumping from one theme to a completely different theme. So for us, playing one set list over and over again, practicing it and learning it, is very interesting. But when we're playing two nights in a row at the same venue, we always try to change things up a bit, just in case there are people who come to both shows. But Fuji Rock probably won't be that different from Hyde Park. I think we've got the hang of pacing ourselves for festivals."

●So what do you focus on when creating a set list?

"First, we're going to play all the singles we've released so far. Then we'll play songs that we enjoy playing live. Then we'll play songs that we think sound good when we play them live... that's about it. I actually want to delve deeper into the songs from Room on Fire, but to do that we need to rehearse and reexamine each song, so we need a little more time."

●Okay. Now, moving on to the next question, in the Strokes' live shows, I had the impression that Julian looked uncomfortable, but in recent live performances, I feel that he is finally starting to enjoy his role as frontman/singer, standing on stage and connecting with the band and the audience. Do you feel this positive change in Julian, as you are on stage with him?

"Umm……Yeah, but I think maybe everyone has changed a little bit. I think I understand what you're saying. It feels like he's started to truly embrace the joy of being on stage a little more than before. But I think he's always been like that, actually. I think it was probably due to that show. Julian is, so to speak, a very sensitive creature. Very sensitive. On the days when the audience is really enthusiastic and it's the best, I really feel like I'm dancing with everyone, but on the other hand, when the audience is a little cold, I feel like I have to prove myself, and the other members feel the same way. However, it doesn't directly affect the performance, I still perform the songs well, but I think it makes me feel a little uneasy emotionally."

●By the way, what changes have you seen in yourself?

"Obviously, in my case, it's not as obvious because I don't have a microphone and I'm not the one communicating with the crowd (laughs). But now that I've been doing this for a long time, I probably feel more comfortable going on stage than I did before. I still get really nervous, of course, but it used to be a lot worse, and I'd be so nervous every night before going on stage that I would throw up. Compared to then, I still get nervous, but by the time I go on stage I've calmed down."

●I see. Also, I thought that "Ask Me Anything" was one of the highlights of the Hyde Park gig.

"I agree. I think that's a great song to play live (laughs)."

●(smiles) ?

"You know why? Because I don't have to do anything, hehehe."

●Ahahaha! Putting aside its merits in that sense, I felt that the addition of that song allowed The Strokes' live shows to express all the emotions, making them a more total emotional experience.

“I see. I think that’s a really beautiful insight.

Yeah, that's a really great way to look at it. I'd never thought of it that way myself, but it definitely changes the dynamic of the whole show. It's like the horizons of the show are broadened by the addition of that one song, and it draws a whole new ridge, and the mountains and valleys become more clearly visible. Anyway, it's a good song, it's very honest, Nick is playing a different instrument than usual, it shows a new side of the band, and I think that song makes the show even more interesting. Yeah, I think so.

●What are the points that you use to judge whether a live show is good or bad? There are live shows where it's okay to make mistakes, but what are the points that make you feel like "tonight's show was good" or "it was crap"?

"There are three things that make a show good. First, we have to perform as perfectly as possible. Of course, that doesn't mean just hitting every note mechanically, but it has to be entertaining, so it also includes feeling the vibe of the show. Second, we have to feel like we're all there together. That is, if someone is unhappy, you can usually sense that. If we can all smile, that's great. And third, and I think this is probably the most important, is the audience. If the audience doesn't accept the band, if they're not enjoying being there, it's going to be very hard for us to smile. After all, the band and the crowd have a symbiotic relationship, and we're there feeling each other, and the audience. So, to have a great show, you need all three."

●So tonight, all three of those things will come together and you will headline Fuji's Green Stage with a great live performance that will be the finale to our best memories!

"It's okay, I have a good feeling about this. I mean, I'm pretty sure it'll happen, so I hope it does. We'll do our best too..."

●I think the audience is also fully prepared.

"Got it. It'll be great then."

●Also, you haven't had a proper Japan tour since the tour for your first album, so please do a full-scale Japan tour this year!

"Yes, we’ll come as soon as possible."

●I'll be waiting.

"Thank you!"